Looking for love in all the right places
I took my two grandsons to a movie Friday and met a dog. I gave a speech in Oxnard on Saturday and met a car. I took them both home. Allow me, as Desi Arnaz used to say, to 'splain.
The movie was "The Ant Bully," one of those animated films with big-time stars doing the voices, and I suppose if you were 3 years old you might find it fun. Jeffrey, who is 13, found it dull, and Joshua, who is 5, was pretty unexcited about it too.
Afterward, walking around the mall, we stopped by an SPCA animal rescue center filled with dogs and cats waiting to be adopted. There we met Sophie.
A puppy's look is like the beguiling stare of a vampire: One cannot resist the lure of a little dog's sweetness. I made the sign of the cross with my arms and tried to turn away, but Sophie's yap forced my gaze back to hers and I was doomed.
Attachment is an instant reaction. One can look at any number of women or, if you're a woman, any number of men, or, if you're gay, any number of men, or if you're bisexual, any number of either and not be attracted. (I think I lost myself in that sentence, but you get the idea.)
But when the attraction is real, lightning strikes, thunder rolls, the surf pounds, stars blink, and you're in love.
That's what happened when I saw a 2007 desert tan hybrid Camry at Oxnard Toyota. I looked at it. It looked at me. I heard distant violins. I heard angel voices.
"I'll take the dog," I said.
"I'll take the car," I said.
"You what?" my wife said of the dog.
"You what?" she said of the car.
"It was love at first sight," I explained. "In both cases."
"Don't ever look into the big brown eyes of a giraffe," she said.
You don't actually buy a dog from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. After filling out a form and after they check you out, you are accepted as a potential owner for a $125 donation, plus all of the toys, leashes, collars, bells and bowls you can afford.
You do actually buy a car. After filling out forms and answering lists of questions, and after they confirm your ability to pay, you are accepted as a potential owner for a mere $30,000 and all of the extras and warranties you can afford.
The dog attendant was a woman named Joanne. She was a cheerful, animal-loving person with the gentle manner of a nun. I trusted her. She made it seem right, perhaps even providential, that I should own Sophie.
