DO you hear it? That long seismic moan underfoot, the thick serial popping of tectonic fractures as if the Earth's rivets were giving way? It can only mean the arrival of the Audi Q7, the latest full-size luxury SUV to give the planet a hernia.
But wait, you say, I thought Americans had finally gotten sick of full-size sport-utility warthogs. Isn't that part of Detroit's current crisis, that the market is abandoning these Rabelaisian monsters in favor of more sensibly sized transport? Actually, no. It turns out Americans are only sick of American SUVs. We can't seem to import enough mid-five-digit Range Rovers, Lexus LX470s, Mercedes-Benz ML500s and Volvo XC90s (though not technically imported, BMW X5s are built in South Carolina, which might as well be another country).
And that's not all. Soon to swell these tubbo ranks is Mercedes-Benz's new GL, a three-row, Escalade-sized sport-ute, which in its deft and graceful styling looks like a grand piano with 19-inch rims.
But what about rising fuel prices and greenhouse gases and all the other sacred memes of enlightened transportation advocacy? Bah. Let them eat carbon.
Audi actually tried to remain aloof from the luxe-UV sty. For years it has faithfully offered Avant models -- that is, station-wagon variants -- of its exemplary all-wheel drive sedans, the A4 and A6, vehicles that deliver the alpine traction and cargo versatility of an SUV without the half-ton of adipose sheet metal. Audi even built the Allroad, a kind of Subaru of the Gods that was as close to a perfect compromise between on-road handling and off-road knobbiness as could be. Fewer than 2,500 discerning souls ponied up for one of those in 2005.
In fact, according to company execs, the Q7 project hung in the balance for a while, as engineers and marketers debated whether to instead offer an Avant version of the A8L sedan along the lines of the 2001 Avantissimo concept car. But that got shot down because it would have been too expensive to re-engineer the aluminum-bodied A8L as an estate. In 2003, Audi showed its Pike's Peak concept, which emerged as a fully formed preview of the Q7. The show car was a hit.
Rather reluctantly, it seems, Audi conceded to market forces, not just here but also in Europe: Sales in the premium SUV segment in Germany rose 300% between 2000 and 2004 (to 52,046 units).
