Mark Twain said "figures often beguile me," and that was years before the NCAA even started compiling statistics on football.
There are going to be a lot of numbers tossed around before Wednesday night's national title game between No. 1 USC and No. 2 Texas, and the real danger would be to believe the vast majority of them.
My two favorite pregame Rose Bowl statistics are USC's being ranked No. 39 nationally in total defense and a woeful 75th against the pass, as if any of that means center squat.
If you took those numbers seriously and put them against a Texas offense averaging a nation-leading 50.92 points a game, and quarterback Vince Young, the nation's top-rated passer, Texas should score 70 and win by 30.
Why play the game?
The NCAA, like ancient Rome, keeps meticulous statistics for the betterment of we're not sure who or what.
Trying to make sense of pitches and passes in a sport that features 119 schools of disparate styles and abilities is almost folly, and it only confuses the masses.
College football isn't the NFL, in which there are only 32 teams, the talent level is evenly dispersed and everyone basically runs the same plays.
The difference in college football is the difference between USC and Temple. They even let you count statistics against Division I-AA schools, which is like Curt Schilling getting to count his strikeouts in a rehab assignment against Pawtucket.
In college, there are gulf-like differences in playing styles and conference strengths.
Some leagues build for the pass and others for muddy games in November.
This season, giving up 341.91 yards a game on defense in the Southeastern Conference ranks you ninth and makes you 4-7 Arkansas.
Giving up 344.67 yards a game on defense in the Pacific 10 Conference ranks you first and makes you 12-0 USC.
When the teams met in September, USC won, 70-17.
People in the SEC like to poke fun at the West Coast style, but what are SEC defenses stopping compared with Pac-10 defenses?
It's all relative, it's all good and it's all football.
It's just different in different places.
What the NCAA doesn't tell you when it says Texas Tech is fourth in scoring offense at 42.09 points is that Texas Tech averaged 66.33 points in wins over Florida International, Sam Houston State and Indiana State and 33 points in eight other games.
