No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus. They pulled his whiskers off at the Coliseum Sunday and it turned out to be Vince Lombardi saying, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Sorry, kids, fairy tales don't come true, after all. Sleeping Beauty was really dead. Hansel and Gretel never did get out of the oven. The giant ate Jack \o7and \f7the beanstalk.
St. George got eaten by the dragon. The guys in the black hats got clean away with the cattle.
Little Red Riding Hood didn't notice Grandma's ears till too late and she found out her teeth were too big the hard way. Goldilocks is just a big lie. The Easter Bunny doesn't really bring all those jellybeans. They get them at Thrifty Drug.
All of which is my way of telling you the clock struck midnight for the American Football League Sunday. Brute strength conquered in the end again. They played for money and them as has, got.
Goliath must have had an off day. The little guys don't win these things.
What the Super Bowl needed was a rewrite by Walt Disney or Hans Christian Andersen. So it would come out like this:
The little, shy, frightened, big-eyed AFL, wandering through the forests cringing at shadows and shuddering at the roars emanating from the Ogre of the Woods, the NFL Colossus.
"Please, sir, won't you play with me?" asked the shy little league in the red cape and boots.
"Fee, fi, fo, fum!" roared the NFL. "Go way and get yourself a football first."
So the little AFL huffed and puffed and he sued the court. And the NFL ate their lawyer. So the AFL said, "Well, I know a shortcut to Grandma's house, otherwise known as the Super Bowl" and sprinkled money around and bought lots of players. Only the giant bought even more.
Sucker Will Pay
Then, the fairy godmother -- the commissioner of football -- came along and said, "Wait a minute. Put on this glass slipper and all of a sudden you'll be fairer than all the football leagues in the land."
Out of the side of his hand he whispered to his own giant, "Don't worry. This way we'll make the sucker pay and then we'll eat Riding Hood's cape and all right in front of 63,036 people who will pay 12 bucks a head for the privilege of watching. Wouldn't you like to dispose of Little Red Riding Hood on national TV for 2 1/2 million dollars?"
And the big giant said, "Fee, fi, fo, fum! Pete has stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum."
