This may be the first and only time you'll see the phrase "sugar tits" in one of my columns, and ironically, the man who made it possible is Oscar winning actor-director Mel Gibson, a devout Christian.
Gibson allegedly used that remark on a female sergeant after his Friday arrest in Malibu on suspicion of drunk driving. To be precise, Gibson is said to have asked:
"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
I can't recall a line that original in any of his movies. But it can't possibly have sat well with Mrs. Gibson, or with the Gibsons' seven children, or with the millions of true believers who flocked to see the Gibson movie "The Passion of the Christ."
To them, such a vulgar comment must feel like a slap in the face, and I imagine it's hard to simply turn the other cheek.
Especially when you consider that Gibson was allegedly doing 80 mph on the Pacific Coast Highway at 2:30 in the morning with a bottle of tequila in his Lexus, and that he dropped F-bombs like a sailor when he got pulled over. It was F this and F that, an R-rated performance start to finish. When he got to the station, he reportedly tried to smash a phone and urinate in his cell.
Where does the penance begin? A hundred thousand rosaries and six months of Hail Marys?
And that's not even the half of it. The word is that Gibson -- who once starred in a movie called "The Year of Living Dangerously" -- tried to bolt the scene of his arrest and verbally threatened the arresting deputy. There's no telling what Gibson might have tried to do if he was still carrying the sword he wielded in "Braveheart."
Once he'd been cuffed, Gibson threatened the deputy that he'd get even with him because Gibson owns Malibu.
I thought mogul Jerry Perenchio owned Malibu.
It sounds like maybe the tequila was doing the talking in those wee hours Friday, and I, for one, would like to know where Mr. Family Man was half the night.
To make matters even worse, Gibson allegedly had some kind of a fit about Jews during the arresting process.
"The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," Gibson is said to have opined, asking the arresting deputy: "Are you a Jew?"
This guy needs help. He sees one flashing red light and thinks the Jews are after him. Imagine driving down the highway in the middle of the night and seeing Mel Gibson on the side of the road in handcuffs, not far from David Geffen's place, blaming the Jews for everything.
