The congregation rose as one. For a long minute, they stood, applauding, sniffling. Interim senior pastor Ross Parsley bounded to the podium. "Listen," he said, "we all feel worse than we did a week ago. But we were worse off a week ago. Today, we all are more obedient, more repentant, more transparent than we've been in a long time."
Here and there in the vast sanctuary, members of Haggard's congregation called out: "Amen."
Afterward, in the lobby, many worshipers echoed Parsley's words. Some were angry at Ted Haggard; many were bewildered. But all said that their faith was not shaken; it was renewed. They would hold fast to all Haggard had taught them over the years, including his preaching that homosexual behavior is an affront to God.
"He believes that what he taught us is true," said Carol Groesbeck, 61.
"I don't think there's anything that needs to be reevaluated," said her husband, Jim, 61, an elder at New Life Church. "We know what we believe, but it's difficult to live that out. That's not just Ted's struggle. It's our struggle."
Michelle Gatson, 37, said she felt reinvigorated by the service after a week that left her so spent, all she wanted to do was "be lying on the floor at home, crying." A member of the choir, she said she found healing in the songs of praise -- praise not for any man, but for God. "I love my pastor," she said. "But I'm glad I didn't put my faith in him. He's human."
Added Ian Kallenbach, 26: "I hope he can deal with his demons."
Stockstill -- who has been the Haggards' personal pastor for years -- said he saw only relief in Ted Haggard's face when he informed him on Saturday that he was being removed from his position at New Life.
Haggard had been struggling for three years to balance his duties as pastor with his high-profile role as head of the evangelical association -- a job that raised his political profile and got him invited to the Oval Office and in on conference calls with the White House.
Haggard had tried to carve out time to reflect and to write his books by secluding himself now and then in a Denver hotel. That is apparently when he first contacted the prostitute, Mike Jones, who advertised as a masseur in gay magazines.
Haggard alluded to this period in his letter, saying that his pride had prevented him from seeking counseling; he hadn't wanted to disappoint those who loved him. "When I stopped communicating about my problems," he wrote, "the darkness increased and finally dominated me."
