Washington — FOR PEOPLE with Parkinson's disease, the rest of your life begins on the day of your diagnosis. It's your own Sept. 11 or, if you're old enough, Nov. 22, Kennedy's assassination. It's unforgettable.
For me, that day was Feb. 5, 1990. It was like a death sentence with no chance of a pardon. I was told control of my body would slip away. I feared the same would happen to my mind. The deterioration would be gradual, like the disintegration of a glacier -- at the end of each year, more of the glacier would have dropped into the sea.
As far as I can tell, there is no guaranteed formula for coping with Parkinson's or other degenerative neurological diseases. There's no easy way to deal with tremors so violent that you can't hold a glass of water. There's no approved method of not falling down on your way to the bus stop, breaking your wrist or taking 10 stitches in your eyelid.
Sure, you can make life more tolerable. If Parkinson's is your disease, some drugs mask the symptoms. There's even an operation (which I had two years ago) to control the disease's effects. And regular exercise can help you get through the day.
But all the while, the disease eats away at your brain. Nothing can stop that. You have good days and bad days, but eventually the bad days predominate.
In the end, there's really only one thing that can help you face another day.
It's hope. Either you've got it or you don't.
I'm by nature a hopeful person. I don't say that as a boast but merely as an observation.
It's not that I think everything is ideal. Right now I have a terrible time keeping upright when I walk. Instead of long, sure, heel-first strides, I'm more likely to lean forward and take short, mincing, tiptoe steps that have to be quick just to keep my feet under my center of gravity. Usually I can force myself to slow down and stop while I'm still on my feet; sometimes I stop by pitching forward, face-first.
I'm so likely to topple over that I go out of my way to stay firmly planted in a chair. Just getting up from my desk to go to the bathroom requires a major commitment. Do I really have to go? What used to be routine now involves considerable thought.
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