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THE NOBELS

Some last-minute suggestions

October 01, 2006|SWATI PANDEY

Starting Monday, the winners of the Nobel Prize will be announced. Current asked several writers and columnists who they think should be a laureate.

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"John Updike should get the Nobel Prize for literature. The Swedes have a predilection for whimsicality and like to give it to unknown authors writing in small languages. If they awarded the prize for medicine in the same style, it would go to a chiropractor in Saskatchewan. But John Updike is the greatest living writer in the English language. I can get them his phone number if they don't have it."

-- Garrison Keillor, host, "A Prairie Home Companion"

"The Nobel Prize for literature should go to the American comic-mystery writer Donald Westlake. Enough with honoring self-consciously solemn, angst-ridden and pseudo-deep chroniclers of the human condition. Westlake is smart, clever and witty -- a prolific craftsman -- and quite deep. But do the Nobel judges have a sense of humor? I doubt it."

-- Bill Kristol, editor, Weekly Standard

"President Bush should win the peace prize for implementing counter-

terrorism policies that have prevented another terrorist attack in America since 9/11 -- including keeping the jihadists tied up trying to block democracy in Iraq. But employing the Nobel committee's usual criteria, it is more likely to be Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Hugo Chavez."

-- Ann Coulter, columnist and author of "Godless: The Church of Liberalism"

"The Swedish Academy has failed many times since 1901 to honor writers with the stature of Philip Roth. I suspect the academicians will fail again. But Roth will be no less America's greatest writer."

-- D.J. Waldie, author of "Where We Are Now: Notes From Los Angeles"

"I would award the Nobel Prize for literature to James Frey, since "A Million Little Pieces" was an achievement in both fiction and nonfiction."

-- Andy Borowitz, author of "The Republican Playbook: Stolen from the White House by Andy Borowitz"

"For the peace prize, I nominate Cindy Sheehan, who has given a face to the peace movement in the U.S. -- and given much more than that, including her time, creativity and talent as a writer, speaker and organizer.

-- Barbara Ehrenreich, author of "Bait and Switch" and "Nickel and Dimed"

"It's time that the peace prize recognized those who work for peace between our species and other species, as well as between humans. To that end, I nominate Jane Goodall."

-- Peter Singer, professor of bioethics, Princeton University

"For the Nobel Prize in physiology or medicine, Oxford University evolutionary biologist Dr. Richard Dawkins and Harvard University evolutionary biologist Edward O. Wilson should get it for their contributions to our understanding of the genetic basis of individual behavior and the evolutionary foundation of social behavior." -- Michael Shermer, publisher, Skeptic magazine

"Carlo Petrini, the founder of Slow Food, for the peace prize. This international movement, dedicated to preserving the biological and cultural diversity represented by the world's traditional food producers, has galvanized an international community around its mission of 'eco-gastronomy' and 'virtuous globalization.' "

-- Michael Pollan, author of "The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals"

"John Updike should get the award [for literature]. He is a marvel, a true man of letters and one of the greatest novelists of all time in any language. His 'Rabbit' trilogy alone should qualify him, not to mention the stories, the Henry Bech books, his exquisite writing throughout, his essays and poetry."

-- T.C. Boyle, author of "Talk Talk"

"Activist and filmmaker Ayaan Hirsi Ali -- at great risk to her person -- has spoken out against the subjugation of women, the cruelty of Sharia law and the undemocratic nature of Middle East regimes. She deserves the world's gratitude and protection."

-- Victor Davis Hanson, senior fellow, classics and military history, the Hoover Institution, Stanford University

"Irwin Cotler was until recently the attorney general and minister of justice in Canada. He's done more to promote human rights in the world than any living person. He formed an organization called InterAmicus, which represents political prisoners all over the world. He has led the campaign to not only punish genocide but to prevent it. He's a one-in-a-million person, but very quiet. Nobody knows him because he works behind the scenes.

Alan Dershowitz, professor of law, Harvard University

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SWATI PANDEY

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