HEY, BIG SPENDER

IF you’re a big spender at Neiman Marcus, you qualify for a white-gold credit card that comes with a rewards program, InCircle, that’s ridiculously rich with incentives. Does anyone actually hit the $1-million mark? Much less the $5-million mark? Neiman’s won’t say. But it’s a brilliant fantasy, not to mention genius marketing.

For $1 million: A custom, one-hour film produced by an Emmy-award winner that draws from photos in your family album and from your home movies; or a portrait taken by Mary McCartney (daughter of Sir Paul) while you stay three nights at London’s Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park hotel; or a nine-night African safari.

For $1.5 million: An 18-karat-gold credit card arrives gratis; or a seven-night stay in a three-bedroom apartment aboard The World, a private yacht with 165 floating condos; or a 2007 Lexus ES 350; or an outdoor Viking kitchen with a grilling lesson from chef Kent Rathbun.

For $2 million: Your live singing performance, backed by an orchestra, band or choir, copied onto 300 CDs; or two weeks in a 16th century French chateau in Dordogne, complete with airfare, housekeeping and local guides; or a custom fur coat made in Italy by Giuliana Teso.

For $2.5 million: A 28-day voyage from Alaska to Asia; or a J. Mendel mink coat trimmed in sable; or five rooms for four nights at the Ritz-Carlton, Cancun, with cooking lessons at the hotel’s Viking culinary center and a home renovation with a full suite of Viking appliances.

For $5 million: A limited-edition 2008 Lexus LS 600h (a V-8 luxury gas-electric hybrid sedan); or a session with experts who help turn your invention idea into a product concept; or a 77-carat, 100-inch chain of diamonds that can convert into several configurations.