Try this wrinkle: Grow up

I'M AS SHOCKED as anyone by this, but apparently Botox and other cosmetic procedures designed to "refresh" the face are now a liability in Hollywood. The Wall Street Journal reported recently that many well-known actresses are possessed of such an improbable age-to-smooth-skin ratio that television studios are actually looking to other countries, such as Britain and Canada, when casting for roles that don't necessarily require a 16-year-old look. With the advent of high-definition television, the scars that result from cosmetic surgery can be distractingly noticeable. There's also the matter of not being able to register surprise or many other emotions when your facial muscles have been Botoxed into a slab of granite.

It's hard to talk about the Botox craze without descending into empty cliches about the tyranny of a youth-obsessed culture. I'll admit that there's something a little medieval about injecting "botulinum toxin" into our faces because we live in a world where anyone older than 35 is considered medieval. But I also believe in accepting life on life's terms. So if yours involves equating wrinkles with inoperable tumors -- and you happen to have a lot of disposable cash -- one way to be a responsible citizen is to erase the damage by using a syringe.

I've never had Botox myself, though a facialist once told me that, if I continued my habit of raising my eyebrows in wry amusement, I'd "have no choice" but to submit to the needle. Obviously this was alarming, not only because my career is pretty much based on raising my eyebrows in amusement but because I've always secretly looked forward to getting wrinkles. Not serious wrinkles, mind you. I'm talking more about the kind that make me seem mature without looking old, the kind that suggest I don't yet need a life insurance policy but still discourage people from patting me on the head and saying things like "good for you, at your age!" I want wrinkles-in-training, an at-a-glance indicator that I remember Pac-Man and the Anita Hill hearings but not Watergate and Pong.

My big problem with Botox and other anti-aging procedures is not that they're shallow, or that their corollary is that too many of the moms on TV are played by actresses already so young you'd think every kid on a sitcom was the result of a teen pregnancy. It's that all of it has succeeded in extending the self-consciousness of youth into middle age, effectively undermining our ability to come to terms with our looks and concentrate on more pressing matters (for instance, foreign policy or, barring that, our lower backs). Because we're so versed in what a drag it is getting old, we seem to have developed a collective amnesia about the chaos, humiliations and downright stupidity that comes with being young.