CHASING AARON / 754 AND COUNTING / BILL PLASCHKE - Misery loves company as Dodgers fans bond together
You want records? We've got records.
Earliest heckling.
The moment Barry Bonds stepped into the cage for batting practice Tuesday afternoon, some fat guy began breathlessly shouting, "Ster-oids" as he walked in from the parking lot.
Longest heckling.
When Bonds dug into the batter's box for his first at-bat, he was booed for two solid minutes, from first pitch to last pitch, from the top of his biodome-sized helmet to the bottom of his pajama pants.
Oddest heckling.
Imagine Ramon Martinez's surprise when he walked to the plate in the second inning and was surrounded by 50,000 people chanting, "Bar-ry [bleeps], Bar-ry [bleeps]."
And so the celebrated home-run chase began its strange trip through Dodger Stadium on Tuesday amid much awkward huffing and uneasy puffing.
Bonds, as you know, is the San Francisco Giants outfielder who is one home run from catching leader Hank Aaron with a career 755 home runs.
On this night, the only thing that left the park was the joy that should be accompanying the moment.
And the only thing Bonds caught was a bunch of hell.
None of this was unwarranted or unexpected, but all was in stark contrast to the celebratory mood last week in San Francisco, and a steely reminder of things to come.
You can bring the baseball commissioner (good job, Bud), you can pop a thousand camera flashes (the place looked like Disco Ravine), but outside the vast spaces of Northern California and Bonds' head, this party is sadly no party.
What should be a march is a trudge.
What should be a celebration feels like a wake.
There is no guest of honor, only an enemy of the people.
Bonds struck out on a check swing in the first inning . . . booo . . . was intentionally walked in the third inning. . . booo . . . was unintentionally walked in the sixth inning. . . booo . . . and popped up ball four in the seventh inning.
When Rafael Furcal appeared to lose the ball amid all the flashing lights, Bonds was safe at first on the error. He promptly unstrapped his body armor and disappeared into the dugout.
Thousands booed, then bolted.
So went one of the most misery-laden baseball games I've seen this season, with two more scheduled for Dodger Stadium this week, then three in San Diego this weekend.
It was so dour, the highlight was watching Steve Garvey on the video screen, asking fans a multiple-choice question whose answers were Snow White, Rapunzel or Fiona.
