Ah, NFL training camp.
Even if you yearn for the traffic and ticket prices we'd get if we had our very own NFL games, surely you don't miss the minutiae of training camp.
About the most exciting thing that can happen is a fight, or at least a flare-up.
They got one at Tennessee Titans camp Wednesday, and it wasn't just a big deal because quarterback Vince Young was involved.
It was that Young threw a glancing blow at the helmet of safety Donnie Nickey after Nickey took a receiver down with a questionable play while defending a pass.
And uh, no, it wasn't Nickey's head anyone was worried about.
"My preference is not to see my quarterback throwing punches with his throwing hand," Coach Jeff Fisher told reporters after making the players involved stand behind him and listen.
Nickey and Young made nice afterward, with Young acknowledging that risking injury to himself by confronting a teammate was "real bad."
"Someone comes at me, I'm not going to back down. I don't care if it's Vince, President Bush," he said, adding that Young shouldn't do it that way again.
"At least not with your right hand, man," he said. "Jab with the left and wait for the cavalry."
Let's just hope President Bush keeps a wide berth.
Newly acquired star Kevin Garnett will wear No. 5 with the Boston Celtics, in part because other numbers he wanted are among the Celtics' many retired jerseys.
What two members of the Hall of Fame previously wore the still-available No. 5 for Boston?
By the book
Imagine you were going to play the Old Course at St. Andrews, and a friend offered some tips.
Imagine your friend was Tiger Woods.
"He said, 'You know, I have a yardage book. Would you like to use it?' " said Annika Sorenstam, who lives near Woods in Orlando, Fla.
"I said, 'I would love to, are you sure?' He said, 'Yeah.' "
Naturally, Sorenstam is playing from different tees in the Women's British Open than Woods, but she said they talked about the course.
"Well, he just told me to hit it left, which I already knew," Sorenstam said. "He told me to practice my long putts, just do a lot of lag putting. It's going to be key."
Sorenstam posted a one-under-par 72 Thursday in the first round, which was suspended because of darkness with two groups still on the course.
Lorena Ochoa was the leader in the clubhouse with a 67.
Who the heck's yardage book did she have? One that belonged to Old Tom Morris?
Bill Walton, who played for Boston for only two of his 10 NBA seasons, and John Thompson, who was inducted into the Hall of Fame for his career as the coach at Georgetown.
Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas is out there, and he revels in the fact on his "Agent Zero" blog on NBA.com. But we've got to admit, we think he's got a point on this one:
"I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.
"There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.
"I know you're making a weird face as you're reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.
"We're humans. We live on land.
"Sharks live in water.
"So if you're swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that's called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
"A shark attack is if you're chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that's a shark attack. Now, if you're chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.
"When I see on the news where it's like, 'There have been 10 shark attacks,' I'm like, 'Hey, for real?! They're just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don't live underwater.' "