Can she talk?

SAN FRANCISCO — ProbABLY the last thing one would expect to hear at the Magic Theatre, long an incubator of groundbreaking theatrical work, is the sound of Joan Rivers throwing it to her daughter, Melissa, on the red carpet. Yet this unmistakable voice has been reverberating on tape as part of the tech preparations for the comic's imminent arrival. The occasion is a limited workshop presentation of "The Joan Rivers Theatre Project," and it should come as no surprise that once the Queen Mother of Elizabeth Taylor jokes is in the building, there's no containing that raucous mischief-making rasp.

Sitting in one of the cramped offices at the Magic's Fort Mason location on the magnificent marina, Rivers seems seriously delighted to be involved with a theater that has such a storied track record. "Everyone forgets that I'm a writer," she says, in her semi-aggrieved, semi-humorous way. "I've done a play called 'Fun City' and another called 'Sally Marr . . . and Her Escorts.' This is my third, and I can't wait to get in front of an audience and find out what's funny and poignant and what isn't."

Mixing classic riffs with candid reflections on her roller-coaster career, Rivers' autobiographical comedy, which runs through Sept. 2, may not yet have an official title, but she's ready to dig in with both hands to turn it into something more than a celebrity's vanity project.

So then why does she look incongruously ready for her big close-up? She has arrived with her face fully done, the effect of which brings to mind a Joan Rivers doll with its eyes and mouth sewn a little too tightly. Fortunately, she can send the hair and makeup bill to CNN, as she'll be appearing on "Larry King Live" later in the day to pay tribute to her friend Merv Griffin, who died over the weekend.

"I was there during the time when Carson and he were big rivals," she recalls. "And there was an unwritten law, which everyone will deny, that if you did Carson you couldn't do Merv, and I was one of the few who broke the law. I loved him. He was dear. Carson was a better interviewer than Merv, but Merv was warmer. And they each brought different things. Merv had better lighting."

Not a minor consideration for a woman who has become an icon -- or is it object lesson? -- of plastic surgery. "I've had two face-lifts," she says defiantly. "I don't think that's bad when you're in your 70s. And every now and again I'll do a little nip or a tuck. This is a business where you have to look good, and I find it so distasteful when important women say they've done nothing, that they're proud to be who they are. Don't lie. We all know who's done what."