Rapid-fire recap of the craziest college football season on record, typed with flying fingers while listening to Chopin's "Minute Waltz."
* Sept. 1: Appalachian State shocks No. 5 Michigan in Ann Arbor, 34-32; sets topsy-turvy tone for a Looney Tunes season; world wouldn't see another upset like it for . . . days (See: Stanford boards plane for Los Angeles, Oct. 5).
* Notre Dame botches opener to Georgia Tech, 33-3; don't call it a rebuilding year. "May God strike me dead if I use that word." (See: Irish Coach Charlie Weis, media day, August 2007).
* Sept. 15: Poor 0-2, injury-savaged Utah must face relatively uninjured UCLA, ranked No. 11, in Salt Lake City. Bruins go down, 44-6.
Notre Dame falls to 0-3; God prepares to strike?
* Sept. 22: USC crushes Washington State; Appalachian State, winner over Michigan, loses to . . . Wofford.
* Sept. 28 (Friday). No. 5 West Virginia sets off weekend Rube Goldberg-like chain reaction with a four-turnover loss at South Florida.
* Sept. 29 (Saturday): For the love of Barry Switzer . . . No. 2 Oklahoma loses at Colorado; Auburn upends No. 4 Florida (so much for a sophomore winning the Heisman Trophy); No. 7 Texas tumbles; No. 10 Rutgers falls flat, as does No. 11 Oregon, to California, which looks like the team to beat this year.
USC ekes out win at Washington, looks to extend home winning streak to 36 against Stanford.
* Oct. 6: Western Union wire: 41-Point Underdog Stanford Shocks USC, 24-23. . . . STOP. . . . Winning QB's first name is "Tavita." . . . STOP. . . . Pig seen flying over Coliseum. . . . STOP.
Notre Dame returns to Rose Bowl for first time since 1925; needs seven turnovers to score 20 points in a win over UCLA, which needs a quarterback.
* Oct. 13: Associated Press' No. 1 and No. 2 fall on the same weekend for the first time since 1996, as No. 1 Louisiana State bows in triple overtime at Kentucky and Cal, poised to be No. 1 for first time since 1951, falls to Oregon State when backup quarterback Kevin Riley lets time expire before Bears can win or send the game to overtime with a field goal; Cal Coach Jeff Tedford slams headset to ground.
* Oct. 14 (Sunday): First BCS standings released. Ohio State is No. 1, followed by South Florida, actually located in Tampa.
* Oct. 18: (Thursday). South Florida no longer No. 2 after loss at Rutgers; Scarlet Knights fans storm field; first time anyone storms field after win over South Florida.
