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A year of living dangerously

Test your knowledge of some of 2007's hard-to-forget moments.

December 31, 2007|Paul Slansky | Paul Slansky's new book, "Idiots, Hypocrites, Demagogues, and More Idiots," has just been published.

1. Which presidential candidate apologized to whom for what?

a. Joe Biden

b. Fred Thompson

c. Hillary Clinton

d. Bill Richardson

e. Mike Huckabee

f. Barack Obama

g. Mitt Romney

____ To Hillary Clinton, for mocking her support among Indian Americans by calling her "the senator from Punjab."

____To Mike Huckabee, mockingly, for "pointing out that as governor of Arkansas, [he] offered in-state tuition to illegal immigrants."

____To Mitt Romney, for being quoted in the New York Times Magazine asking, "Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?"

____To the gay community, for saying that homosexuality was "a choice."

____To Barack Obama, for calling him "the first mainstream African American [presidential candidate] who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

____To Barack Obama, for a campaign staffer's having raised the issue of his youthful coke-snorting.

____To Americans, and especially those with kids in Iraq, for saying that even though his sons weren't backing up their father's support for the war by fighting in it, they were nonetheless serving their country quite nicely by "helping me get elected, because they think I'd be a great president."

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2. What can be seen hanging from the rearview mirror in the photograph of Lindsay Lohan passed out in her car two nights after a DUI arrest that resulted from her drunkenly crashing into a curb on Sunset Boulevard?

a. Sponge dice.

b. A gold crucifix.

c. A silver coke spoon.

d. A collection of 30-days-sobriety medallions.

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3. How did Britney Spears distinguish herself in 2007?

a. By shaving her head in Tarzana.

b. By displaying the absence of underwear.

c. By getting involved in various traffic mishaps.

d. By doing her zombie impression on MTV.

e. By attacking a paparazzi's car with an umbrella.

f. By skipping parenting classes and missing court dates.

g. By having her kids taken away from her by child services.

h. By going in and out of rehab as if it is a revolving door.

i. By repeatedly vomiting on herself in public.

j. All of the above.

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4. Who told Harper's Bazaar: "You know, you can't blame parents for kids"?

a. Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina.

b. Paris Hilton's mother, Kathy.

c. Britney Spears' mother, Lynne.

d. Anna Nicole Smith's mother, Virgie.

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5. What did Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez say after it was revealed that he'd been spending campaign funds on first-class travel (to Spain, France and Italy in 2007 alone), first-class accommodations (i.e. $8,745 at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona), meals at the best restaurants (i.e. $1,795 at Le Grand Colbert in Paris) and purchases at the highest-end retailers (i.e. $2,562 at Louis Vuitton)?

a. "For me, it's a question of, is my perspective on issues broad enough? Do I have enough context when I make decisions? This is a big state to run. You've got to know what you're doing."

b. "I feel very confident and comfortable that [these trips are] not only justified but necessary for the decisions I need to make on a daily basis."

c. "There's not too big a difference between how I live and how most middle-class people live."

d. All of the above.

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6. About what percentage of the 100,000 artifacts believed to have been housed at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library are currently unaccounted for?

a. 15%

b. 40%

c. 80%

d. 95%

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7. Who said what?

a. Ann Coulter

b. David Chase

c. Don Imus

d. Donald Trump

e. J.K. Rowling

f. George W. Bush

____ "I always thought of Dumbledore as gay."

____ "Her girlfriend cannot be happy .... She can't be thrilled kissing Rosie O'Donnell. What's worse than that? ... Living with a pigface is very tough."

____ "No one was trying to be audacious, honest to God. ... No one was trying to blow people's minds."

____ "That's some nappy-headed hos there."

____ "We just want Jews to be perfected."

____ "I mean, people have access to healthcare in America. After all, you just go to an emergency room."

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8. Who is Tennie Pierce?

a. The San Diego volunteer firefighter who turned out to have been a convicted arsonist only recently released from jail.

b. The black Los Angeles firefighter who got a $1.5-million settlement from the city in connection with a 2004 incident in which his colleagues served him a spaghetti dinner with a secret ingredient: dog food.

c. The main attorney for the 508 plaintiffs in the sexual abuse suit against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles that resulted in an astronomical $660-million settlement.

d. One of the Blackwater security contractors who was brutally killed in Iraq in 2004 after the company failed to provide them with the armor and weapons necessary for their jobs.

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9. What do presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain have in common?

a. Both their wives complained about their husbands' propensity to toss their socks on the floor.

b. They both followed their official declarations of candidacy by saying, and then unsaying, that the lives of Americans killed in Iraq had been "wasted."

c. They both struggled with quitting smoking.

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