Don't know if you've heard, but Italian authorities are so upset with violence at professional soccer games that they're talking about banning the fans. That's right, the players would perform in empty arenas.
Sort of like the Los Angeles Kings do.
He can't live with it any longer: "I got this dollar bill as change a couple years ago," wrote Dave Eisenlohr (see accompanying). "It made me feel real bad. Someone spent Baby Ramirez's first dollar! Can you get it back to Baby Ramirez?"
I'd be glad to help. Of course, if I hear from the kid, I'll have to see some ID.
Adventures in the English language: Donna Pearson of Glendora noticed a case of florid real-estate-speak in San Bernardino County (see photo).
"Mobile home estates" belongs in the same category as "residential suites" (condos) and "paired single-family homes" (duplexes).
Chew on this: You can find the craziest things at garage sales, as Doug Stokes of Duarte discovered (see accompanying).
SigAlert show: John Stein of Pacific Palisades was on the San Diego Freeway the other day when a skateboarder passed him in the next lane.
No big deal, though. This was the day a crane collapsed onto the freeway, bringing traffic in the northbound lanes to a standstill for more than three hours.
Just when you don't need a cop: Speaking of parked cars, Cal State Long Beach Officer John Bellah was flagged down by a young woman who had locked her keys in her car.
Odd thing, though. She was parked in a handicapped space and, judging from her athletic attire, seemed to be in excellent health.
Bellah ran her placard through the system and found the woman "didn't quite match the description of the placard-holder -- by about 40 years." Turned out it was on loan from Grandma. The woman got her keys -- and a misdemeanor citation. Bellah got the placard.
For your "Great Dialogue About the Valley" file: In a recent episode of TV's "24," main character Jack Bauer and his boss have this exchange.
Boss: "Where are you, Jack?"
Jack: "I'm in Granada Hills."
Boss: "Don't go north of there, Jack, it would kill you."
No offense, Santa Clarita. The reference had something to do with a terrorist's nuclear device going off prematurely in Valencia. Just the kind of publicity Six Flags Magic Mountain needs.
miscelLAny: "Your Two Cents Worth" is the name of an anonymous item column in the Pacific Palisades' Palisadian-Post for readers who want to sound off. The burning issue of late involves a reader who pleaded for everyone to "stop complaining" so much in the column. Several other readers have complained about that complaint.
\o7Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at email@example.com.