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Enough already

July 21, 2007

For the first time in a long time, I could not finish reading last Saturday's letters. They were mostly written (as far as I could tell by reading the first couple) by people who obviously have absolutely nothing going on in their lives, commenting on some English guy and the sport he plays.

If you are trying to bore me into a complete stupor, you are well on your way to accomplishing that feat.


Los Angeles


I think we need a break-out section for the sports page. Because sports is section "D", maybe it should be section "DB" (David Beckham), or maybe name it after Victoria's new clothing line, section "dVb", which is kind of edgy, and that way Victoria can do a column on fashion tips for sports clothes, and she can design some new swimwear for Amanda Beard, so that she can keep it all covered up, in a stylish manner.


Los Angeles


John Edmonds' revelation in last week's letters that David Beckham gets so much attention because of his light skin and blond hair should be on the cover of next month's issue of "Duh!" magazine. I think we learned that with Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, JonBenet Ramsey and countless others. But then to claim that it's all due to white people's need to find a hero of their own is just plain silly.

Call me when Beckham's jerseys outsell Kobe's.




Top five points reinforced by the picture of Mr. Beckham's tattoo-laden arms [July 17]:

5) Money and class remain different things;

4) Some players will go to any length to distract attention from "Herbalife" being plastered across their chest;

3) Beckham's decision to wear long sleeves in the World Cup suddenly makes good sense;

2) The horizons of bad taste in professional sports extend beyond the NBA and NFL;

1) With credit to the writers of MASH: Why would anyone scar their body with a picture you wouldn't dare hang in your home?




By the time David Beckham finally puts on a Galaxy uniform, we'll all be watching the Super Bowl. The coming of Beckham has to be the most over-hyped event since the Bay City Rollers. And if it isn't bad enough that we have to suffer through that, we also have to give equal time to his non-talented, self-indulgent wife.

Well, at least Paris Hilton will have two new pals to hang around with. As far as real soccer fans are concerned, they can always watch old tapes of Pele and George Best.


Manhattan Beach


Is the name of the team the Los Angeles Galaxy or the Herbalife Galaxy?


Agoura Hills


Ladies and gentlemen of the sports department:

I'm begging you, please, to ban further puns or wordplay on "Bend It Like Beckham" from headlines, captions and stories.

Pictures of Mrs. Beckham, however, are fine.



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