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Open and shut (his mouth)

June 23, 2007

While watching ESPN's coverage of the U.S. Open, I couldn't decide which was more difficult -- the golf course, or listening to Chris "Shelley" Berman (see, I can do it too).

If I hear "ground control to David Toms" or "Jeff 'Seattle' Sluman" one more time, I'll personally turn off his mike.


Studio City


It was your tight T-shirt, Tiger, that cost you another major title. Back to the loose look. Please.




So Bill Plaschke thinks seeing the greatest golfers in the world stumble around is "wonderful." Well, include me out. I don't like to see home run hitters strike out. I don't like to see champion ice skaters fall down. I don't like to see All-Pro football players fumble or drop passes. I don't like to hear great musicians make mistakes and I don't like to see award-winning actors forget their lines.

To me, none of the above is entertainment. If I want to watch golfers struggle, all I have to do is watch my regular Monday foursome.


Los Angeles


The USGA says the U.S. Open's purpose is to determine the best golfer.

However, when shots two yards off a narrow fairway land in ankle-deep rough or irons to rock-hard greens bounce 20 yards over and 10-foot putts with four-foot breaks slide 20 feet past the hole, it actually determines the luckiest golfer.


Los Feliz

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