A real Earth mother

Do you live in the city proper?

I live in Los Angeles, in the hills that will pass for countryside, but five minutes from Sunset Boulevard. But you feel you could be in the South of France if you squinted. The bougainvillea, the trees, the breeze, the Mediterranean architecture. I live in that part of town with the coyotes and the hummingbirds. The coyotes howl at night to remind you that things are not so rosy in California. Especially for the cats.

So even though you left for a time, you're really a Californian.

I'm a native Californian. I left when I was 5 years old, but it wasn't me who chose

That speaks of a bravery or inquisitiveness or a bold foolishness.

The kind of life I grew up with was the kind of life that either you became bold or you fell by the wayside, I think. Somehow, I wound up at a casting office in Los Angeles. The woman wanted me to read for something. And I said I hadn't done anything. And she said, "You just came to town and you'll have to pay your dues with one-line parts." And I said: "No, I've paid my dues. My life so far has been paying dues. I want a leading role." And that's what I got: "Risky Business."

Hmm. It doesn't sound like you were angry, exactly, but for some reason you thought you had nothing to lose. Not to sound like a therapist.

I think I'd gone through it in my head as a teenager. As all of us do, I tried on roles. There have been so many things I'd thought about doing, including being a therapist or a photographer or a pop singer. Many identities. How do I want to live? I'd tried on different ones, starting when I was 14. I always had the feeling I could see the end of the road with each. It wasn't going to catch fire. That was something my mother gave me, which was a gift: To feel the thing that's yours as a teenager. I hope my daughters feel that when they're teenagers.

And were you on your own? Or did you find people to depend on?

My closest relatives were not with me or here part time or I wasn't speaking to them. But one person who was very influential to me in my early career was Harry Dean Stanton, who I met when I did an apprenticeship with Francis Coppola's Zoetrope Studios. We had conversations about acting and what it was and what it wasn't. I think a lot of people on the outside think a good actor is a good liar, when in fact the opposite is the truth. Which is hard to do, and society raises us to lie about what you feel. Children understand what it is to feel until it's repressed out of them.