Few things are as momentarily thrilling (quickly giving way to chagrin and nausea) as hearing Donald Trump extol your place of employment.
"The Los Angeles Times is a very big and very powerful newspaper," Trump explains on Sunday night's edition of "The Apprentice" on NBC. "Millions of dollars alone are spent to advertise in the Sunday edition."
Then Trump, whose reality competition show this week is sort of set at this newspaper, says a word that elicits a chill: "Supplement." Daughter and co-host Ivanka, standing next to Trump in The Times' downtown printing plant, is clearly heard saying "supplement" too. Several times.
Abort mission! Abort mission! Has the Los Angeles Times' brass not learned the folly of gimmicky supplements, or of embedding Hollywood types with questionable hairstyles into its ranks of editors?
Apparently, though, Trump and his Trump-ettes never got into the newsroom. Sunday night at 10, his two teams of contestants compete not to shape the sociopolitical-cultural discussion in Los Angeles, but to shape the discussion of Smartmouth.
It's a mouthwash, and the contestants' task is to create the best special ad for the product (to be attached to this Sunday's paper, I presume).
So you see, it's all just a simple misunderstanding! Trump's not editing the paper paper, he's only using the paper to promote his cheesy reality show on NBC, and vice versa.
Did I say "cheesy reality show"? I meant "hit reality show." As Mr. Trump would say, "very big and very powerful. Millions of dollars alone are spent advertising on it."