FOR the purposes of this article, I will dispense with my usual sphinx-like air of mystery to tell you something personal. I am a new father.
This is an astonishing turn of events, primarily on account of my astonishing age (47). Nonetheless, my two gorgeous daughters are the joy of my life and will be until the day I keel over at a middle-school dance recital.
Apropos of current events, I've been reading Alan S. Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa's new book, "Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters," a rollicking bit of pop science that turns the lens of evolutionary psychology on issues of the day, everything from suicide bombers to the porn industry.
Evolutionary psychology deals with the behavioral programming humans inherited from their genetically successful, species-perpetuating ancestors. Why are young single men more likely to be xenophobic? (It has to do with maximizing mating opportunities.) Why can we stomach Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a romantic pairing but not Lauren Bacall and Brad Pitt? Why are there so few deadbeat moms? Beautiful people want to know.
As far as it goes, Miller and Kanazawa's book does a bang-up job explaining how ancient breeding imperatives inform modern human behavior. But, in an unforgivable lapse in scholarly rigor, there is no mention of minivans. And they call themselves scientists.
Why, for example, do women -- moms -- rebel against minivans, when they are so evidently superior to SUVs and crossovers in function and capacity? Compared with sport-utes, minivans drive better and get better gas mileage. They are safer and easier to park. With their sliding doors and flexible seating, they are more convenient. If females are evolutionarily hard-wired to put their offspring first, why do so many choose a tippy SUV or a barely less impractical crossover? Why is the minivan market cratering?
Apparently, it all goes back to the savanna. According to evolutionary psychology, females' value as potential mates was signaled by their youth (fertility) and sexual availability. A minivan, however, sends out the opposite signal, that the driver is older (old enough to already have offspring) and spoken for -- off the reproductive market, so to speak. In a culture where women spend billions to create the illusion of youth, it's no wonder minivans have been fighting a market headwind.
