In an age when you can have a coach show up at your home and tell you how to eat fewer carbs, strengthen your core or feng shui your living room, now comes the parenting coach.
An L.A. County court commissioner's order on Tuesday that pop star Britney Spears get one -- or risk losing custody of her children -- throws a spotlight on this unusual entry on the roster of experts for hire. Ruling in a custody dispute between the singer and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, the commissioner also said there was evidence that Spears was a "habitual" user of alcohol and drugs and ordered her to undergo regular drug testing.
But most people who seek a coach aren't under court order to do so. A variety of parents, whether honing their skills as caregivers or seeking direction through the sea of child-rearing books and techniques, are availing themselves of this growing class of professionals that includes trained psychotherapists and self-styled entrepreneurs. A few members of the coaching class have popped up in the last few years under the guise of reality TV nannies who sweep into homes, scolding parents and children alike.
Of course, there have always been parenting coaches of some kind. "In extended families there were a lot of people who coached you," said psychologist and family therapist Irene Goldenberg, a psychology professor emerita at UCLA. "You went to see the wise aunt and the grandmother." Or, Goldenberg said, people wrote to newspaper columnists or called radio talk show hosts.
But today, as family generations disperse and people want more personalized help, they're turning to coaches, experts say.
"In today's society a lot of us feel the loss of a mentor," said Christian Leffler of Los Angeles, 37, a stay-at-home father who has been seeing a licensed family therapist for the last two years.
"I call her a parenting coach because that's what I use her for," he said. Leffler calls her on the phone when he needs advice on dealing with temper tantrums and other situations involving his 3-year-old daughter, Ruby. "People are too busy to be mentors. That's why you have to pay them now," he said with a chuckle.
And people who have the means are accustomed to paying for assistance of all kinds. "When you can have someone come in, cook your meals, be a personal trainer, why not have someone coach you on parenting?" said Pacific Palisades-based family therapist Zena Bartholomew, who counsels parents and runs parenting groups but does not make house visits.
