Let the tears dry, then cherish the friendship

Dear Amy: I am a high school senior girl, and the song “Teardrops on My Guitar” is basically the story of my life.

My best friend, “Jeremy,” has been dating a girl for two months and says he’s really in love. Jeremy and I have been friends forever, and I have been his confidant through almost every relationship.

The problem is that I think I’m in love with him. I don’t want to say anything about it to him because he’s in a great relationship, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I also don’t think he feels the same way about me.

I’ve been struggling with this for months, and I have been hiding my feelings for the past two years. Now I’m worried that with graduation approaching, he will never know how I feel. We are going to colleges in different parts of the country, so we don’t have much time together.

I don’t want to make our friendship awkward by telling him, but I don’t want to feel as if our entire high school friendship has been a lie.

I know that the truth is always the best way to go, but there is a lot at stake for me. What should I do?

Tear-stained Teen

Dear Teen: I agree that honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships, but before being honest, you have to dial down the drama and adjust your expectations accordingly.

It’s OK to say, “You know, Jeremy, I can tell you’re happy now, but I think you should know that I’ve had a crush on you. Anyway, I also want to say that I’m really glad we are friends.” He can pick up on your statement, ignore it or save it for 25 years from now, when he will no doubt bring it up at your high school reunion.

After you say what you need to say, focus on your friendship. Opposite-sex friends are worth their weight in teardrops.

Dear Amy: I am responding to the letter from TK, the woman whose guy wanted her to sleep in the nude. So here is a guy who is demanding that his future wife sleep nude even though it makes her uncomfortable, and you suggest trying to work something out?

The man is trying to relive life with his deceased wife, and he is telling his intended how she is to dress (or undress).

I say to that woman: Run for the hills!

Barbara

Dear Barbara: TK said she didn’t mind sleeping in the nude but wouldn’t do so with kids in the house. I suggested they work out a compromise where all can feel comfortable.

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