Kindergarten: You In?

It also means leaving nothing to chance. That essay prompt -- "Describe your child's strengths and weaknesses"? -- a gimme. Although the schools are looking for only two or three lines, says a Hollywood mother whose daughter was accepted at all four schools to which she applied, "they all say, 'Feel free to add an additional page' . . . and everybody does. I wrote a draft, then my husband edited it, then we each did multiple rewrites."

One admissions director often tells parents the story of a couple who sent in a framed photo of their son with a recorded message from the boy, coached by the parents, begging for a spot. He was turned down.

All in the family

What some parents don't realize, adds consultant Sandy Eiges, founder of L.A. School Scout, is that schools aren't just looking at the child; they're looking at the whole family. Which only amps up the anxiety quotient. Remember that "Entourage" episode in which sleazy power agent Ari Gold alienates the headmaster? "If the parents are obnoxious, sending too many e-mails, calling too many times," says Eiges, "they aren't getting in."

Nor does being a benefactor necessarily help. "I have clients," says Whitney, "who have said, 'I'm absolutely willing to write a check for $100,000; is that enough to get in?' " Turns out, it's not. "Obviously, schools are looking for givers, and to some extent money does talk," she says. "But the big-giving families can give a lot more than that." Schools are interested in how you can spend your time and your skills, or in some instances, affect the diversity of the school population.

Still, there are no guarantees and no sure-fire formulas. "It's so arbitrary," says a Hancock Park mom. "It's not always the wealthiest family or the most connected people. We have celeb moms in our preschool who've been trying to get into the center for years and didn't make the cut."

"It's come to a point where some of the schools -- not all, there are some wonderful schools out there -- only want perfect children," Wagon Wheel's Segal says. "If they ask a child to draw a picture of themselves and they draw a dog, that kid is not going to get in. Sometimes it even comes down to looks. . . . But what are we creating? A class of Stepford kids? We really need to be looking at the whole child."

It's no wonder that some parents have resorted to fighting back by talking up or down a school's reputation. "People in this town love to gossip," Whitney says, "and before you know it, depending on who's doing the gossiping, a school can be red-hot or on the outs."