Well-meaning landlord invading their privacy

Dear Amy: My husband and I have a well-meaning landlord, who frequently comes into our apartment to do little repairs without telling us.

We appreciate that he is so attentive, but it has gotten to the point where we can’t relax because we’re afraid he’ll barge in on us.

He knocks once on the door and, if we don’t come to the door right away, he lets himself in. Several times on Saturdays we have heard a knock on the door and had to jump out of bed before he could let himself in.

The other day, he let himself into the apartment without even knocking and caught me dressed in only a towel.

He was extremely apologetic and embarrassed, but I’m still angry.

I know that he actually owns our apartment, but I really hate that he can just invade our private space.

Do we have the right to say something to him about how we’re feeling?

Sara

Dear Sara: Actually, while you pay rent, you do “own” the apartment. It’s your home. You should check your lease to see if there is language covering your landlord’s access.

Your landlord should never let himself in without your permission or prior notice, unless you’re away and there is an emergency such as a burst pipe.

For basic maintenance or repairs, a landlord should let you know in advance – not knock and enter. You should ask him to install a deadbolt or sliding bolt lock to the inside of your door, and you should use it whenever you are home.

Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Judy,” whose daughter wanted to exclude her stepfather from her wedding.

Judy should seize this excellent opportunity to illustrate to her daughter what a strong marriage commitment looks like. She should lovingly but firmly explain that she has chosen to spend her life with her husband and that they are a unit for purposes of public events such as a wedding.

If the daughter can’t put her feelings aside for the day, then Judy must stay home. Her daughter needs to understand what “forsaking all others” means in the marriage vows.

Kate in Queens

Dear Kate: I completely agree with you that stepparents should not be excluded from family events and was surprised that “Judy” tolerated this from her daughter.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.