There is nothing in this life to prepare a person to review "Heidi 4 Paws," which premieres on KCET Sunday morning.
When my editor handed it to me with a gleam in her eye, she said: "It's Heidi. With dogs." I was confused. Did Heidi Klum have a new reality show involving dogs? Had Heidi Montag snagged a canine Christmas special?
"No, it's the story 'Heidi.' With dogs."
I began to feel bovine in my incomprehension. "Heidi" with dogs instead of goats?
"No, the dogs play all the characters."
Including, it must be added, the goats.
And there it is. "Heidi 4 Paws" is a live-action retelling of Johanna Spyri's classic tale of an orphan sent to live with her cantankerous grandfather high in the Swiss Alps -- with dogs in all the roles. Dogs in kerchiefs and Swiss frocks, dogs in alpine hats and canine approximations of lederhosen, dogs in wigs and spectacles and, yes, little Clara's wheelchair.
Having said that, we can now watch as the world instantly divides. Into those who find dogs in dress-up charming and adorable and those who consider it a crime against the natural order of things. If you are a member of the former group, then this is the film for you. The costumes are exquisite, the dogs wear them well.
Some of us, however, fall into the latter category. I have nothing against live-action animal films -- I think "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" cleaned up at the box office simply because it was a darn good movie -- but I believe the only person who should put clothing on dogs is William Wegman, and then not always.
It's a difficult prejudice to put aside in this case, especially since the poor mutt playing Miss Rottenmeier is forced to wear shoes -- shoes! -- but it is a prejudice not shared by everyone, and so we move on.
"Heidi 4 Paws" is the dreamchild of successful screenwriter Holly Goldberg Sloan ("Angels in the Outfield," "Made in America"), which explains the name talent, including Angela Lansbury, Steve Guttenberg and Julian Sands, who provide some of the voices. Sloan, as she recently blogged on the Huffington Post, spent the last five years melding her twin obsessions with dogs and "Heidi."
This answers the first wild-eyed question that springs to mind when "Heidi 4 Paws" opens with three dogs on a train. Why on Earth would anyone think to do this? Not, apparently, to create an instant camp classic, although this may be the end result, but because she wanted to make a children's film incorporating her twin obsessions with dogs and "Heidi." Next question.
