When it comes to dealing with freeloading friends and deadbeat relatives, Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz suggest that you be what they call the three P's: prompt, polite and pointed.
All too often, people get taken advantage of for no better reason than that cheapskates think they get away with it, according to the husband-and-wife writers, who pen a money and ethics column for Money magazine.
"There's no indication that these are people who are down to their last dollar," Schwarz said. "Every indication is that they are people who feel no moral obligation to pay."
The authors, whose book "Isn't It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check?" was published last month, have categorized the people their readers consistently complain about into several character types, along with suggestions for dealing with each of them.
The deadbeat
An Internet survey conducted by Schwarz and Fleming indicates that 95% of adult Americans have lent money to a friend or family member, and 36% have made a loan of $1,000 or more. When asked about the largest such loan they had made, 43% said they hadn't been paid in full -- and 27% hadn't been paid at all.
Women are more likely to be stiffed than men, and poorer lenders are less likely to get their money back than those earning $100,000 or more, the survey found. That suggests skipping out on a debt isn't so much about what the borrower can afford but rather how vulnerable the creditor is perceived to be.
"The decision not to pay," Schwarz said, "is often the result of a cynical analysis of the person that they owe money to, rather than a sense of desperation."
Fleming added: "It's more about borrowers' calibrating whether they can get away with it."
How can you avoid getting skipped out on? Three tips:
First off, of course, be careful -- about whom you lend to and whether you can afford to make the loan.
"While it's great to be generous and do good deeds, you need to be analytic about whether the person is likely to repay you and whether you can live without the money if they don't," Schwarz said.
Second, if you expect to be repaid, put the loan in writing. You might not need a long contract, but you definitely need a few lines documenting who lent whom what amount, and when and how that loan is expected to be repaid. (If nothing else, the Internal Revenue Service requires such documentation if you later want to write off a bad debt on your income taxes.)
