"It was heart-rending," said Army Lt. Col. Linda Holloway. "They need so much and there is only so much we can do for them. That was one night I couldn't sleep."
The treatment of widows ranks high among the list of things the U.S. military wants to lobby the Baghdad government about to help Anbar province.
Widows are given preference in sewing classes offered by the U.S. Agency for International Development, backed by the Marines, in hopes they can become proficient enough to make clothes for sale.
In Husaybah, 20 of the 50 women, ages 17 to 25, in the sewing program are widows. There is a waiting list of 750 women who would like to enroll. Upon graduation, each woman gets a $75 sewing machine.
"We are looking for women who are looking for help," said Jamal Nasir, an official at the sewing program. "War is war."
In another class offered by the agency, local men learn how to lobby the provincial and central governments. "Many in the area want something done for the widows," said Husaybah Mayor Farhan Kettekhan Farhan.
Sheik Jasim Faraq Gawad told a reporter, "Tell the American people this province needs help. The nongovernmental agencies are helping us, but the [central and provincial] governments in Baghdad and Ramadi need to help too."
Marine Civil Affairs Groups have met with women in several cities, arranging for medical visits for the women and their children. Bundles of blankets, sheets and towels have been distributed.
Before the meetings can be held, tribal sheiks and the other men have to be convinced that the Americans are not trying to disrupt the cultural balance between men and women.
"We have to get across that we were genuinely trying to help them so they could learn to help themselves," said Staff Sgt. Tiffany Grovdahl.
In nearly any meeting between the Iraqi women and the female Marines and soldiers, the pension issue is a major topic. In a patriarchal society, anyone without a husband faces a difficult future.
"They can remarry, but often the new husband will not accept their children," said Hameed Nawar Salmany, a member of the Qaim city council. "It is very bad."
Some women can join a household as the second or third wife, but often their role in the marriage is relegated to the kitchen and bedroom.
Musawi is concerned that the government's failure to help widows might push the women into cooperating with the insurgency, possibly even as suicide bombers, to provide money for their children.
By noon on the day the widows went to the Social Guardship Net office in Qaim, the office had been locked to encourage the women, and their male relatives, to go home. The crowd had disbanded.
"They'll be back," said Salmany.
"What else can they do?"
tony.perry@latimes.com
tina.susman@latimes.com
Perry reported from Husaybah and Susman from Baghdad.
