Yahoo Sports blogger MJD questions the relevance of the NFL's Wonderlic Test, designed to measure the intelligence of potential draft picks, and has created an exam better suited for today's NFL player. Among the ideas for questions:
A) Are my ticket to the Hall of Fame.
B) Would be better if they tasted like fruit and were shaped like various Flintstones characters.
C) Are not for me, because I find that cocaine aids my performance much more effectively.
D) Apparently worked for Rodney Harrison.
A) Is a guy who knows how to party.
B) Understands good nutrition.
C) Could probably introduce me to some nice girls.
D) Is someone with whom you should never even make eye contact, unless, God forbid, you need to find a good lawyer.
True or false: If Matt Millen tells you that you're an excellent football player, it should be taken as a great compliment because he has a very keen eye for these things.
Essay: Just write a complete sentence. If you can't do that, just write down a word. Or your name. Try to spell it right. If that's too much, draw a picture of something. Or don't. Honestly, if you do anything other than chew on this portion of the paper, you're going to be fine.
The Miami Dolphins have the No. 1 pick in this year's draft, only the second time they have had the first overall pick. Whom did they select the last time they had it?
Not going topless
FoxSports.com reports that player weigh-ins will no longer be part of the NFL Network's coverage at the NFL combine because players were not keen on the idea of being shown without shirts.
"There was concern from current NFL players that the participants would be more comfortable if they were not paraded around without their shirts on," combine director Jeff Foster said in an interview on the website. "It was an entirely appropriate suggestion. The weigh-ins should never have been televised."
At a loss
The basketball season mercifully came to an end for New Jersey Institute of Technology, which finished 0-29 to set an NCAA Division I record for losses in a winless season.
The previous low was 0-28, set by Prairie View A&M of Texas in 1992 and matched by Savannah State of Georgia in 2005.
The team, in its second season at the Division I level, has lost 33 consecutive games overall -- one short of Sacramento State's Division I record.
"Until today, we thought we were going to win games," Coach Jim Casciano told the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J., after the final loss. "Whatever games we had left on the schedule we thought we were going to win."
Retired English soccer star Paul Gascoigne was detained under the Mental Health Act after a series of bizarre incidents at a London hotel, according to London's Daily Mirror newspaper.
The paper reported that Gascoigne "was almost permanently drunk, set off a fire alarm, spent hours gambling with staff and wandered around clutching plastic battery-operated parrots, during his two-week stay.
"There were also reports he would order raw liver from room service -- and answer his door stark naked," the paper reported.
A British tabloid, the Sun, followed up with a report that Gascoigne had recently checked into a rehabilitation center to help cure an addiction to Red Bull energy drink. It said he had been drinking 50 cans every day.
The Dolphins selected Illinois running back Jim Grabowski in 1966, but Grabowski never played for the team. He was also drafted by the Green Bay Packers and played for them. Before merging in 1970, the AFL and NFL conducted separate drafts.
The Florida Marlins are looking for a few good men -- as long as they are good and fat.
The team is creating an all-male, plus-sized cheerleading squad that will be called the Manatees. Those selected will perform at home games on Fridays and Saturdays. They will not be paid but will get tickets to games at which they perform.
No word on whether they'll also get free hot dogs.