Hillary, can you work nights?

'Barack Obama, in his first day as the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, named Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, Jim Johnson and Eric Holder to lead the search for a running mate." -- Bloomberg News

Job Interview Transcript, 6/7/08

Interviewer: C. Kennedy

Interviewee: H. Clinton

K: "It's 4 in the afternoon. I'm here with Hillary Rodham Clinton, senator from New York, and I'm beginning the interview now. Um, do you mind if I tape this?"

C: "Is it really necessary?"

K: "Well, sort of. I mean, we taped Richardson, and that turns out to have been a good idea. For a lot of reasons."

C: "It's just that this is sort of ... I'm Hillary Clinton."

K: "Well, you know, honestly, I don't know how to handle this. I've never done this before."

C: "Hired a vice president?"

K: "No. Had an actual job. I've co-written a book or two, and I put out a collection of my mom's poems, but as far as any serious human resources experience, you know, not so much."

C: "Then why on Earth did he ... you know what? Forget it. Let's just get this over with."

K: "OK, then. Um, first question: ¿Alguna vez han sido detenidos por la policia?"

C: "Excuse me?"

K: "Oops. Sorry. That's the form I used when I hired my kids' nanny. Let me just flip this over. OK. OK. Got it. OK. Here goes. What is your career objective?"

C: "Are you kidding me?"

K: "It's for the form I need to fill out. I'll just put down, 'To secure a challenging and meaningful position in the dynamic vice president of the United States industry.' "

C: "Well, I guess that's the nutshell version."

K: "How are you with Excel and PowerPoint?"

C: "Am I being punked? 'Cause that's what this sounds like."

K: "Oh God. I'm sorry. I know I'm screwing this up. It's just that, you know, I've never done anything like this before. So I got a copy of 'HR for Dummies,' and it says to tape everything and try to make the applicant feel comfortable and pay attention to their shoes."

C: "Their shoes?"

K: "I didn't get it either. But apparently people who take care of their shoes are trustworthy and detail-oriented. So could you just

C: "I am so out of here."

K: "Wait! I'm sorry! OK, look, I'm sorry. Please stay. We're almost done, I promise. I'm just trying to do a good job here. Trying to be thorough. OK, next question. What would you say are your greatest strengths?"