Sixth-grade teacher Deidre Sexton watched in disbelief as a student was struck by his mother during a parent-teacher conference. Steve Klein recalled a mother who threatened to pull her ninth-grade son out of school and have him sell fruit on the freeway. Other teachers recount the times parents have tried to bully and intimidate them.
Parent-teacher conferences are a time-honored school tradition, but for many teachers they are also trying, emotionally wrought encounters. These days, the sessions are taking on a new look as schools contend with assertive or no-show parents as well as higher academic stakes that can cause tensions.
For The Record
Los Angeles Times Wednesday, March 19, 2008 Home Edition Main News Part A Page 2 National Desk 1 inches; 23 words Type of Material: Correction
Parent-teacher conference: An article about parent-teacher conferences in the March 10 California section misspelled Hancock Park sixth-grade teacher Deirdre Sexton's name as Deidre.
Some teachers are providing soft lighting and candles to set a friendly atmosphere. Students are being invited to lead sessions, in part to keep the adults in check. And some schools are offering child-care services to encourage participation.
Not even mood lighting, however, can keep some of the meetings from becoming heated.
Retired teacher Kristine Valentine recounted a session at Budlong Elementary School, south of Exposition Park, at which a woman, defensive about her son's poor classwork, refused to sit, towering over Valentine in an apparent attempt to put her at a psychological disadvantage.
When Klein taught at Jefferson High School in South Los Angeles, the mother of the ninth-grader was so fed up after hearing repeatedly of the teenager's disruptive exploits that she asked Klein not to call her anymore for conferences.
The relationship between parents and teachers has often been somewhat tenuous. But many educators say that today's so-called helicopter parents are not partners as much as hovering, overly protective defenders of their children. Parents, in turn, say many schools overemphasize test scores rather than the abilities of individual students. And some worry about college admissions, which have become increasingly competitive and anxiety-inducing.
Myra McGovern, a spokeswoman for the National Assn. of Independent Schools, said schools -- and by extension teachers -- had been caught up in a societal shift of lagging respect for institutions generally. She hears repeated anecdotes from teachers, especially at private schools, who say that, even in the classroom, they are expected to respond immediately to telephone calls or e-mails from parents seeking impromptu conversations.
