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A sorry lot, indeed

It's getting caught, not what they did, that they regret the most.

March 11, 2008|Paul Slansky, Paul Slansky is the author of "Idiots, Hypocrites, Demagogues, and More Idiots."

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, apologizing in person in July for his phone number turning up in the phone records of the "D.C. Madam," Deborah Jeane Palfrey, after his earlier apology -- read by a spokesman -- was deemed inadequate.

"My conduct that evening was inappropriate. ... It violated the values of the person I strive to be."


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Rep. Ken Calvert of Riverside, apologizing in 1994 for being caught in "an extremely embarrassing situation" that consisted of his being found sitting in a parked car receiving oral sex from a prostitute. He claimed for a year that nothing had happened, even though the police officer who caught them had reported seeing him covering his unzipped pants with his hands and rearranging himself back in his dress slacks.

"I'm sorry -- so, so sorry that mistakes in my judgment made this day necessary for us all."

New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, apologizing in 2004 for having had an extramarital affair with a man who he then appointed as his homeland security advisor, despite the man's utter lack of qualifications for such a position.

"Am I sorry? Of course. If I did the things that they say I did, am I sorry, do I apologize? Yes."

Oregon Sen. Bob Packwood in 1995, conditionally apologizing -- if he did these things -- to the score of women who'd been on the receiving end of more than two decades of unwanted sexual advances (or, as he put it, "the conduct that it was alleged that I did").

"I'm sorry that I made a mistake. It happened three years ago. I'm human. ..."

Illinois Rep. Daniel Crane, apologizing in 1983 for having sex several times with a 17-year-old female page. His press secretary, William Mencarow, was out the next day apologizing for telling reporters that "if they required the resignation of all congressmen who have slept with young ladies, you wouldn't have a Congress."

"I made a serious mistake. I should not have been in the company of any woman not my wife who was not a friend of mine or my wife."

Colorado Sen. (and instantly former presidential candidate) Gary Hart, apologizing in 1987 for having spent the night in his D.C. home with model Donna Rice -- a rendezvous that only became public knowledge because the widely suspected-of-philandering Hart insanely challenged the media: "Follow me around. I don't care. I'm serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They'd be very bored." They did, and they weren't.

"I have acted in a way that violated the obligations to my family, and that violates my -- or any -- sense of right and wrong. I apologize first, and most importantly, to my family. I apologize to the public, to whom I promised better."

New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who prosecuted at least two prostitution rings while he was New York State attorney general, apologizing Monday after he was overheard on a federal wiretap allegedly planning an assignation with a prostitute at a Washington, D.C., hotel last month.

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