When this year is over, I can see the Dodgers being honored, maybe even one of those presidential Medal of Freedom awards for the Parking Lot Attendant and Frank's Old Lady.
The Olympics are in China later this summer, and it's really important that people who ride on horses in suits as well as our best badminton and handball athletes win gold.
In China, it's probably even more important than that, a mega chance to show everyone across the world on its own turf just how dominant it can be.
So you have to give the Dodgers tremendous credit, putting a manager of Joe Torre's stature in charge of a group of stiffs who will play there later this week, everyone in China thinking this is the best America has to offer in baseball if Joe's in charge.
What a diabolical scheme to promote overconfidence in Chinese athletes.
The following pitchers are going to China for the Dodgers: Eric Hull, Mike Koplove, Hong-Chih Kuo, Greg Miller, Justin Orenduff, Chan Ho Park, Matt Riley, Brian Shackelford, Eric Stults, Ramon Troncoso and Tanyon Sturtze. When they get done throwing, I wouldn't be surprised if Chinese athletes just stop training for the Games.
Personally, I believe the same thing could've been accomplished by sending the Dodgers' regulars.
You put Juan Pierre in left field and have him throw the ball to home, and you'll have a billion people in China suddenly caring about the poor little guy who plays for the Dodgers, while thinking, this is the best they can do over there?
By the time our really good athletes get over there in August for the Olympics, we'll take them by surprise, and mop up.
I'M OFF to Vero Beach with the intention of telling the boys about Carl Edwards, the Ducks and horse trainer Doug O'Neill.
The Ducks promised if they won the Stanley Cup, they would take it to Mattel Children's Hospital at UCLA. They won the Stanley Cup, and a few days later the Cup was lying in the bed beside a beaming kid.
O'Neill delivered a bag of horseshoes last year, and while the nurses had to spend hours scrubbing off the dirt and whatever before the kids could have them, O'Neill became the most successful trainer in Southern California in 2007 -- his horses winning more than $10 million, and without shoes.
No one around here ever heard of Edwards, but he said if he won NASCAR's Auto Club 500 in Fontana, he'd send the trophy to the kids. He won, kept his promise, and won again the following week.
