Look, if I had Arnold Schwarzenegger's dough, I'd be zipping around by private jet too. What's a few tons of greenhouse gases on my conscience compared with the tribulations I face navigating commercial airports?
Schwarzenegger commutes between L.A. and Sacramento via Golden State One to save time and maybe dodge the paparazzi, who, unlike Starbucks and skycaps, are everywhere at Los Angeles International Airport. Me? I'd just want to spare myself the torment of that Space Age, Stalinist-style purgatory we call LAX.
LAX ranks near the bottom of almost every survey of travelers, except one nearly 15 years ago that commended its no-smoking policies, which is like congratulating a restaurant for stocking forks.
It's the world's fifth-busiest airport, with about 60 million passengers a year -- the equivalent of every man, woman and child in Britain, and all of them in line in front of me at the security checkpoint.
LAX is aging faster than the "60 Minutes" audience. When is someone going to wake up this "Rip Van Winkle of American airports," as infrastructure wise-man Steve Erie refers to LAX. Over 10 years, $147 million was spent just for consultants' advice. Three years ago, the feds OKd an $11-billion modernization plan. Last year, the city began a separate $723-million makeover at the Bradley terminal. Just 10 days ago, the airport commission greenlighted $25 million for a Florida company just to "manage preparations" to expand and modernize LAX. For years we've been tantalized with promises of more, more, more; better, better, better -- but when, when, when?
Every five years, Los Angeles pays a private company to survey the performance of one or another of the city's moneymaking departments -- the harbor, the DWP and the airports. These reports can be quite instructive. Four years ago, harbor jefes were found to have no clear vision, and the department was "largely reactionary" and "perceived as living off the fruits of its prior efforts."
This year, it's the airports' turn: LAX, Ontario, Palmdale and Van Nuys. All this month, airport consultants are asking a chosen group of "stakeholders" -- residents, community groups, businesses and business groups, elected officials and government administrators and the traveling public -- to assess matters such as concessions, parking and safety.
