Woman makes case for open talk about sex

While I’m away, I’m letting you give the advice. The following are readers’ opinions on issues they’ve seen in the column:

On why some wives avoid sex with their husbands: My first husband and I had sex every night at exactly 9 p.m., for exactly two minutes (after a couple of years, I timed it by watching the clock the entire time). I did not have any other experience with sex, but this seemed extremely quick to me. I did not know what was wrong. I only knew that I felt extremely frustrated, which became more physically painful over the years.

When I told my husband, he got very defensive and claimed that I was spoiled. He had no interest in our learning to have sex with each other.

I never turned down my husband, I just suffered until I got a divorce, because, and only because, sex was horrible.

Women are still reluctant to tell a man he is not pleasing her, and men still do not want to know that it is not just natural, that they are not just born to please women.

Anonymous

There are many reasons married couples stop having sex, but this is a well-made case for at least talking about it.

Trusting your gut: I dated a guy for four years who seemed somewhat aloof, even though he said he loved me, and when asked said he wanted to “spend the rest of his life with me.” Last summer, he told me he had been seeing a girl who worked for him. Later I learned they were together for three years. I knew something wasn’t all there, asked about it – but he lied to keep me.

I didn’t trust my gut.

When someone really wants you, you know without having to ask. Help people understand, to trust what they know.

K.

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