The Glutton

Staring down a goblet of bright fuchsia liquid purporting to be borscht in Beverly Hills, the Glutton watched her envious fantasy about Ladies Who Lunch die an ignoble death. The Glutton loves to lunch but her vision of department store doyennes sipping wine and nibbling caviar-laden toast points proved undeservedly glamorous.

Barney Greengrass (9570 Wilshire Blvd.) inside Barneys at least makes a misguided effort. Fried mashed potato balls are not potato pancakes, and if you'd never previously tried borscht, you might think it was a Jamba Juice concoction, not a savory soup. But they do know how to smoke a fish. The sturgeon and especially the salmon are silky, salty and delicious.

The worst of the bunch is the much ballyhooed 59th and Lex in Bloomingdale's (10250 Santa Monica Blvd., Century City), where the food tastes mass-produced. Skip the meal and stay for dessert. The New York cheesecake is heavenly -- simultaneously dense and fluffy with a subtle crust and a hint of tartness.

The best in-store indulgence can be found at Neiman Marcus' Mariposa (9700 Wilshire Blvd.), where every meal begins with a bowl of light chicken broth and a popover accompanied by house-made strawberry butter. Perhaps the Glutton could eat nothing else. After all, a real lady can never be too rich or too thin.

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-- theguide@latimes.com