BOSTON — For some, it is as simple as access to the vocabulary of marriage. "My wife" translates so much more readily to the general populace than "my partner," said Marcia Hams, who traded vows with Susan Shepherd days after Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage on May 17, 2004.
Other same-sex couples say marriage has produced more practical benefits. Gay and lesbian spouses can authorize emergency medical treatment for each other that once was off-limits because they were not husbands or wives. They can inherit property without mountains of paperwork explaining their relationship -- documents that often still were subject to challenge by biological relatives. And, as legally recognized families, they have access to cheaper health insurance.
"It's a huge savings for us, about $4,000 a year," Gary Chalmers said. After he and Rich Linnell married four years ago -- the very day that such unions became legal in Massachusetts -- they were able to scrap Linnell's $340-a-month individual policy and join a family plan. The couple have diverted the savings to a college fund for their 16-year-old daughter, Paige, who wore her first pair of high heels to her fathers' candlelight church wedding.
As California prepares to permit gay and lesbian marriage following Thursday's ruling by the state Supreme Court, Massachusetts views itself as a largely positive case study. In fact, at least one outspoken adversary in the Massachusetts Legislature has completely changed his views.
"I was a huge opponent," said Rep. Paul Kujawski, a Democrat who voted repeatedly in favor of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. After three years of conversations with gay and lesbian families and individuals, Kujawski said, he has become a supporter: "I listened to story after story, and I found out they only want what everyone else wants -- the opportunity to live in happiness and dignity."
Opposition persists among groups that champion the sanctity of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. But for the most part in Massachusetts, lesbian and gay marriage has become so everyday that when kindergartner Chloe Page saw her teacher sporting a new wedding band, she asked if he had married a boy or a girl.
Chloe's mother, Boston-area events planner Liz Page, said Friday that the California decision meant Massachusetts could finally relinquish its status as the sole state to allow gay and lesbian marriage. "This is so important," Page said. "We have been waiting for the other dominoes to start to fall."
