They've taken off the gloves in the East

The dream lives . . . barely.

The Lakers are two-thirds of the way to the Finals. The Celtics will be, too, assuming they beat the Cleveland Cavaliers today in Boston, in what promises to be another low-scoring East (gag me) thriller.

Of course, the next round may be even more excruciating for the Celtics -- assuming they see it -- with Detroit's veterans off for a week while Boston's big guys who seem to be aging by the moment finish their second seven-game series.

Anyone up for a Lakers-Pistons rematch?

Unfortunately for the Dream Scenario of Boston vs. the Lakers, this isn't the Celtics team that dominated the regular season.

Those Celtics won 66 games -- seven more than anyone else -- ranked No. 11 in offense, had the best road record (31-10) and went an amazing 42-2 against losing teams.

These Celtics are No. 12 in scoring among the 16 playoff teams, 0-6 on the road and had to go seven games to get out of the first round against the 37-win Hawks.

What happened?

Remember the Three Amigos or whatever Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen called themselves?

They're more like the Big Three Minus Two with Pierce at 16 points and 36% in this series and Allen at 10 and 35% while going four for 22 from three-point range.

Worse, the Celtics can't even get shots for Pierce and Allen. Pierce is getting 14 a game in this series, which he often used to have by halftime.

Allen is getting nine a game, fewer even than Rajon Rondo.

As expected, as soon as the playoffs started, teams walked away from Rondo, the 22-year-old point guard, daring him to shoot and using his defender to jam the middle.

Meanwhile, the Celtics aren't guarding Ben Wallace and Anderson Varejao as both teams jam the other's offense.

The result is as B-O-R-I-N-G as watching mastodons butt heads.

In six games, the Celtics and Cavaliers have reached 90 points only twice (Cleveland in Game 3, Boston in Game 5) and have been below 80 six times.

This is the new, improved East?

Well, yes. It used to be even worse.

Unfortunately for competitive balance, the best East teams are not only up there in age, but they play slow, which looks more and more like yesterday's basketball.

Look at the rising young powers in the West: Lakers, New Orleans and Utah.

All are young, athletic and score a lot of points (Nos. 4, 5, and 9 in offense, respectively).