'The Pick-Up Artist' on VH1
THE MONITOR
Learning the art of seduction can be painful for a group of young male contestants, but it's often even more painful to watch them.
Every week, "The Pick-Up Artist" begins with a group hug. The contestant who narrowly escaped elimination in the previous episode returns to the rest of the survivors and is fully embraced by them, in a combination of brotherhood and desperation.
There is much to loathe about "The Pick-Up Artist" (VH1, Sundays at 10 p.m.), from its astonishingly callous disregard for women to its sometimes laughable protagonists, but this moment is unfailingly genuine. There are nominal alliances and friendships between certain players, all socially awkward young men badly in need of a confidence boost and a personal shopper, but mainly each sees himself in the others. A victory for any one is, by extension, a victory for all.
From week to week on this show, you can watch these men being nourished, with transformations no less revelatory than those on "The Biggest Loser." Their tour guide into the world of human interaction is Mystery, a well-known leader in the "seduction community" (their term, not mine), who plies the noble trade of instructing the hapless on how to be less so, particularly in regard to women. He speaks deliberately, is irritatingly sure of himself and dresses ridiculously (last week, he paired what appeared to be shiny vinyl pants with a furry top hat; tonight he sports goggles similar to those Snoopy wears when fighting the Red Baron). It should come as little shock that in his previous life, Mystery was a magician.
And here, magic -- shaking off the past and giving one's personality a complete reboot -- is what Mystery sells. This season's contestants, a predictable assortment of virgins, dweebs and eccentrics, badly need the help. They are given haircuts, piercings and the wardrobe of the average unbearable Hollywood nightclub denizen. Then they are brainwashed with a series of tricks on how to chat up women that are largely designed to destabilize and recalibrate the interaction so that the man remains in control. Each week, they are sent into the field, generally a club, to practice their game.
Mystery says things like, "The contestant who kino-escalates" -- that's "kino," as in touch, and escalates, as in successfully -- "to a kiss, while preserving comfort in the target, will win the field test." Sexy, right?
