"And then he goes to live at this house because of school and the house is full of, well, they call themselves Muslims."
Siddiqui raises her eyebrows.
"And they do things that are," Hiba pauses, giggling uncomfortably, "they do things that are considered, I guess you could say, bad. But deep down inside they have really strong faith, strong beliefs."
"I want to read this book," Siddiqui says.
"It's supposed to be shocking," Hiba says. "It doesn't mean I live like they do. They do things that are inappropriate."
Her mother looks startled, as if she has just been allowed to peek inside her daughter's barricaded mind: "Are you confused?"
"Sometimes I feel confused."
"OK," Siddiqui tells her. "Talk about that. Talk to us."
"I will," Hiba says, feeling guilty for assuming her parents would not listen. "I do want to be more open."
"Sometimes it gets mixed up, what is religion, what is culture?" Siddiqui tells her. "But I just want you to be a good human being."
Summer break comes and goes. Hiba travels to Pakistan for three weeks, and then to New York to visit family.
Standing beneath the lion's cove at the Bronx Zoo a few weeks before the beginning of her senior year, something about her is different.
Hiba lost the presidency to Shuruq and received another position. But since then, Hiba explains, she found herself. Shuruq taught her what it means to be devout.
"When people look at her they see a Muslim," Hiba says. "I don't know if I was ready to be the face of the MSA."
Hiba says she knows now that she is a Taqwacore. But the term born out of Knight's book has taken on a new meaning for her too. She could never bring herself to rebel like the characters, and despite the reverence she has for the lifestyle, she is not a punk.
"I'm not in-your-face. I don't have a mohawk," Hiba says.
"I think a Taqwacore can be anyone who is trying to find their own way."
Hiba has decided to pick which Islamic traditions to follow. After returning from Pakistan, she started praying five times a day.
She reads the Koran for guidance, remembering a proverb: "Whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold, that never breaks."
Hiba has spent much time trying to figure out who she is. But in those moments when it is just her and Allah, Hiba knows.
In a sense, Hiba has always known.
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