When you've lost it all

Most of us can't comprehend the devastation of losing everything -- our home and all its contents -- suddenly and irrevocably and with no chance of retrieving even one personal belonging. Yet some 842 homes were destroyed in the most recent Southern California wildfires, leaving the people who lived in them without shelter, possessions or, in some cases, much more than the clothes they were wearing when they fled.

As they sift through rubble, deal with insurance companies and attempt to return to normality, some people will fare better than others, finding their emotional footing more quickly and coping with adversity more ably. In a word, they have resiliency.

Across the Southland were scenes of grief and disbelief as people returned to what was left of their homes -- a half-burned toy, a book or two left intact, an appliance mangled by the intense heat.

One L.A. Times reporter found Mike and Julienne Chene sifting through what was left of their Yorba Linda home, both laughing and crying. Said Julienne, "It comes in waves."

At the Oakridge Mobile Home Park in Sylmar, residents tried to see what was left of their homes. "It was so sad," Mary Rios said. "We're going to be disconnected from everyone. It's hard."

"There is no one factor that will predict who's going to do well and who's not going to do well," said says Demy Kamboukos, a research scientist at the Institute for Trauma and Resilience at the New York University Child Study Center. "It's really a combination of genetic predispositions and interactions with family and community."

Perhaps the most important inborn trait is being even-tempered. "Some kids are just born with an easy temperament," Kamboukos says, "and are able to adjust more easily to change and disruption."

Then there are problem-solving skills, which give both adults and kids a feeling of control. These are especially useful during times of crisis, when decisive action is needed.

Similarly, being expressive and outgoing makes for an easier time after a disaster, says Karin Hart, an Agoura Hills-based psychologist and clinical instructor at UCLA who also serves on the disaster mental health advisory council for the Red Cross. Those traits can make a person more likely to ask for help.