How to speed emotional recovery after disaster

To maintain equilibrium and instill a sense of purpose after a tragedy, mental health experts offer these tips:

* Make connections. During a time of crisis, stay in close contact with loved ones. Also, reach out to friends, on-site volunteers or a place of worship. Such relationships can help keep feelings of loneliness and despair at bay.

* Don't be afraid to ask for help. Recovering emotionally from a disaster is almost impossible without assistance. Sometimes just talking about what happened can be cathartic.

* Take small steps. Although the enormity of the situation can be overwhelming, a house can't be rebuilt in a day. Deal with immediate needs first -- make calls to the insurance company, round up clothes and other essentials, and check in with your children's school. Doing just a few tasks can make other goals seem more manageable and help you regain a sense of control.

* Establish a routine. Even if home is a shelter or a friend's house, a routine can help people feel more directed when they're out of their element. If possible, maintain after-school activities, go for regular walks -- anything to create a rhythm.

* Keep a stiff upper lip for your kids -- but not too stiff. Children learn much about coping by watching their parents. Find the middle ground between being falsely cheerful and unloading all your fears and doubts on your offspring. Explain that, although being sad is OK, it's important to be hopeful and optimistic as well. Families that work together to reestablish their lives tend to weather storms with more ease.

Stein is a Times staff writer.

jeannine.stein@latimes.com