For richer and for poorer

It's hard to have sympathy for people who make that much money when the average New Yorker makes $85,000. But beyond the tales of fat cats having to make it on $250 million when they used to get by on $1 billion, there are stories of families reeling during this downturn. Many insist they are as much a part of Main Street as the denigrated Wall Street.

In interviews with several Wall Street wives whose husbands' big earnings are in jeopardy, they describe the pain of walking through malls and boutiques -- how it hurts knowing they can't grab a few things for themselves that might catch their fancy. They tell themselves this will pass. Wall Street shrinks during tough times, but it always comes back. But what if it doesn't this time?

Many admit to being in the dark about their husbands' prospects at the bank or for finding new jobs -- if it comes to that. They're keeping up on Wall Street's woes, obsessively watching the news crawls. But the devastation hits home, they say, when they witness their husbands' panic attacks in the middle of the night.

For months, Mona has anxiously awaited daily calls from her husband while he is at work. They live in Edison, a comfortable suburb in central New Jersey and a 90-minute commute by train from her husband's office in Manhattan.

For the last two years, Amar, 36, has run a technology unit in the capital markets division for Lehman Bros. until it went bankrupt and was bought in part by Barclays. He's still there, adjusting with the change in management. His salary at Lehman's was $400,000, including a bonus and restricted stock options. Amar's base salary, about $200,000, remains the same, but there are no reports yet on what will happen to 2008 bonuses and options.

During their daily calls, Mona is usually out with their 3-year-old daughter, Karen -- doing errands or dropping her at the Little Geniuses preschool in a strip mall.

"Is everything all right today?" she asks. "Do you have meetings?"

At the same time she's thinking to herself, "He called about the meeting because something's going on, maybe layoffs?"

Usually, he's distracted while they're talking. "He's always looking at numbers, millions and billions of dollars, going up and down. The amount gives him some kind of reason to go on," she says. "He wants to do right for the company, but he's stressed all the time, and when he comes home he never smiles."