Happiness, and finding more of it, has been on the minds of Adam and Kelly Radinsky for about a year now. The couple, who are married and live in Topanga Canyon with their two children, had a strong hunch that being happier was within reach. They read up on the subject and took action.
"I was the classic stressed-out lawyer, but that's changed, said Adam, 46, a deputy city attorney for Santa Monica, "I don't want to say this miracle happened overnight, but I'm noticeably happier today than I was six months ago."
He and Kelly read Sonya Lyubomirsky's book "The How of Happiness," and found that her suggestions were similar to those in other spiritual and self-help books Adam was reading. So he tried a few. Specifically, he started keeping a gratitude journal, and focused more on enjoying the moment and worrying less about the past and future. He also stopped insisting on always being right, he said.
"The How of Happiness": An article in today's Health section about a family helped by the book "The How of Happiness" misspelled author Sonja Lyubomirsky's name as Sonya.
Book authors: An article on happiness in Monday's Health section, along with a list of books and a sidebar on a formula for obtaining a positive outlook, identified Dan Baker as the author of "What Happy Women Know." He is actually a co-author, along with Cathy Greenberg. Ina Yalof contributed.
Happy couple: A photo caption with an article in Monday's Health section about a Topanga Canyon couple who improved their happiness gave the wrong name for one of the children. His name is Jackie, not Mickey.
Happy couple: A photo caption with a Sept. 8 article about a Topanga Canyon couple who improved their happiness gave the wrong name for one of the children. His name is Jackie, not Mickey. The article also misspelled "The How of Happiness" author Sonja Lyubomirsky's name as Sonya.
"When I find my head taking a little riff on what's happened or what's coming, I bring myself back to the present with a good, deep breath many times a day," he said.
Letting others be right was harder on his ego. However, he said, "when I can let go of my position, I find many creative ways to let the other person be right and still get what I want." At home, most of the things he argued about, he found, were petty. "I save a lot of wasted breath by not engaging. Besides, my wife is usually right." Six months ago he would have given himself a six on a 10-point happiness scale. Today, he'd rate an eight.
Kelly agreed that her husband is a new man. "The changes have helped our marriage go from good to great." Meanwhile, she has been employing her own happiness-building strategies. After having her children, now ages 9 and 6, she found that achieving her dream -- being married and having children -- wasn't enough. She knew Lyubomirsky socially, and after reading her book, she applied three strategies that work for her: First, she said, she became forgiving. Specifically, she forgave her parents for her tumultuous, unstable childhood. "That was a really new idea for me and lifted a load I didn't even know I carried." Second, she started taking yoga again, which helps her calm her mind chatter and sleep better. And third, she did more things that put her in a state of flow. One of those activities, taking pictures of her children, turned into a new career: She now takes children's portraits professionally.
"I'm happier and much more aware of what makes me happy. As soon as I feel a little down, I go back to my list of what works, see what's missing and get it back, whether that means doing yoga or taking some pictures."
The Radinskys prove Lyubomirsky's point: How you act and how you think largely determine if happiness is inside you.
