Tough times at UCLA these days. The way the school has it set up, the sports information director can see the media arriving from his window, and so spotting Page 2 on Monday he got up and closed his door.
I thought about waiting for him to open it, but it could be basketball season before he does.
They've got their football schedule posted in the lobby of the Morgan Center, but it's 2007, because who wants to know who is going to beat the stuffing out of UCLA next in 2008?
I thought it was time, though, to give the new UCLA football coach the Page 2 Test on Monday, all newcomers in town getting the same treatment at one time or another.
The results, though, were shocking. Rick Neuheisel came off more uptight than Karl Dullard, and a bigger drip.
Neuheisel is supposed to be Mr. Personality, oozing charisma all over the place, but when given the Page 2 Test, he became rattled. Gary Matthews comes to mind, and he might have an excuse -- no one knowing yet if an inability to appear interesting is one of those HGH side effects.
Neuheisel had the advantage on Matthews and Dullard, too, in taking the Page 2 Test, because we go back to when he was playing quarterback for the Chargers during the 1987 strike.
Maybe he was uptight because he thought I was going to nickname him "Scab."
No question the Scab wasn't the same guy I remembered, and I hadn't even mentioned Karl Dorrell's efforts in leading Miami past the Patriots and obviously outsmarting Bill Belichick.
I wanted to ask if he had called Dorrell seeking advice -- Dorrell starting his coaching career at UCLA 1-2 after not being left much by Bob Toledo, everyone making fun of him but then coaxing his team into winning five in a row.
Anyone like the Scab's chances of coaxing the Bruins into winning the next five games in a row?
Never had the chance to mention Dorrell, because Neuheisel couldn't get past the first question on the Page 2 Test without curling up into the fetal position.
Asked about his history of hot starts with Colorado (20-4 the first two years) and Washington (18-6), before going into the tank, isn't this start at UCLA a little scary?
Easy answer, if you're Mr. Personality oozing charisma. Maybe, "this time I'm saving the best for last," or "I hear Manny Ramirez calling your name."
Instead Neuheisel went on the defensive. "We started 0-2 at Washington and ended up 7-5. I'm not sure [that's] a hot start."
