Downsizing hasn't affected every area of newspapers
T.J. Simers
The new year and Mike Scioscia can make one reflect on more weighty issues.
She was so cute. I remember waiting eagerly for the day when the granddaughter might speak and I might understand what she has to say.
Then she does speak, giggling at the same time, "G.P. silly," she says, while announcing in front of everyone at a restaurant that her G.P. has a placed a balloon under his shirt just to tease her.
OK, I'm fat, you little whippersnapper. Why don't you say it louder, and when we go home I'll tell you how "Marley & Me" ends.
It just happens. I weighed 150 pounds when I went into the Army and now I've got a leg that weighs that much.
Tell me it isn't a great day when you notice the vending machine stocked with packages of miniature chocolate doughnuts? Probably cost me any chance I had with Salma Hayek, but it's no balloon. No kid, just lots of me. Wanna see?
I had no idea a little girl could shriek like that, although she wasn't any louder than her grandmother the first time I asked her if she wanted to see it.
Now I know there's nothing wrong with being fat, which reminds me before I forget: There were reports Monday the Angels were doing a deal to extend Mike Scioscia's contract somewhere into the next century.
I wonder if Scioscia put the squeeze on Arte?
I wanna be like Mike, but I'm beginning to look more like Andruw.
And the thing is, I try as hard as Oprah. I bought a membership to Family Fitness, paying $17 a month for the last 10 years just in case I ever wanted to go.
And I'm still paying monthly dues, although I just had my knee fixed by the Raiders' team repairman, Dr. Nicola, who told me I'd never be able to run again. I'm beginning to understand why the Raiders play like they do.
If I can't run, I can't exercise, which brings me to Kari Franks, a Newport Beach physical therapist, and look at the watermelon she swallowed.
She's eight months pregnant and taking it out on me. She wants me doing exercises all the time like I have any spare time between meals.
We have two closets at home, his and hers, each filled with stacks and stacks of NutriSystem meals ordered a couple years back. They ever drop the bomb -- I know one family that's going to come out of the closet fitter or sicker than any other.
