She's cash-strapped, depressed and lonely
Dear Amy: In the last couple of years I lost my best friend in an accident and my job (along with my health insurance and pension). Then I took in my elderly mother, whom I cared for until her death. I also lost my beloved little dog.
I am not a young woman, and in this economy I have not been able to get so much as an interview, much less a job. I am almost out of savings. I am facing financial collapse.
I find all of this overwhelming, and I feel depressed. I can't afford counseling or drugs and I don't think I need them.
Isn't depression in the face of such circumstances as these a normal reaction?
I don't qualify for any assistance because I own my home (mortgaged) and have a car. I've tried to refinance, but the bankers just shake their heads.
What do I do?
Discouraged
Dear Discouraged: It is completely natural to feel depressed, given the overwhelming circumstances in your life. Situational depression doesn't necessarily require treatment, as long as you can cope with your depressed feelings and they are appropriate to the situation -- and yours are.
If you have a friend with whom you can share your feelings, it might help to talk.
Even though the job market is terrible, you might gain some traction and contacts through volunteering -- your local animal shelter would be a good fit. Support groups for unemployed people are springing up in communities, and you should see if there is one you could join.
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Dear Amy: The Super Bowl is approaching, and, as a woman who likes sports, I am stymied about how to get to actually watch the game at a party.
Every year, we either hold a party or attend a party that includes my husband's male friends and couples we know.
I would love to lounge on the couch and watch. But what invariably happens is that I end up in the kitchen with the women while the men are occupied with the game. Is there a gracious way to make my way to the TV during the game?
Stuck in the Kitchen
Dear Stuck: Act like the guys: Take out a spot on the couch, and don't leave it unless absolutely necessary.
Call out loudly to your man when you need a beer, and when you get it, say, "Thanks, hon -- you're the best," without making eye contact.
During the halftime show, meander into the kitchen to eat directly out of the fridge.
When the game resumes, fight for your coveted seat.
Watching the Super Bowl is a full-contact sport, but you can handle it.
Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com.
