Any time the Dreadlock Police come knocking, so does race. But this isn't a color issue. If Ben Roethlisberger showed up Sunday looking like Alice Cooper, it would raise the hair on the back of Steelers fans' necks.
Terry Bradshaw didn't have long hair. Come to think of it, Terry Bradshaw didn't have short hair.
When you think football, you think Johnny Unitas, Dick Butkus, Derrick Brooks. None of whom was ever mistaken for the guys from Milli Vanilli.
Football players just aren't supposed to look like Rapunzel. Arizona assistant Russ Grimm was not one of the brothers who came up with that tale. But here's where the issue gets a little complicated.
Fitzgerald is one of the NFL's most physical receivers. Polamalu is a human atom smasher. And the last thing either can be accused of is being an attention craver.
So why do the NFL's most humble superstars have the sport's most showy locks?
"I do it for all bald men over 40," Polamalu said.
As much as we Hair Club members appreciate that, he was joking. Polamalu's hair comes from his heritage and the Samoan warrior tradition.
Fitzgerald wants to honor his mother, who died of cancer in 2003. She had long hair, and every time he looks in the mirror he's reminded of her.
"I've had my hair since coming into the league," Fitzgerald said. "It's me." It wish he said he did it to impress the ladies. That way I could rip him for putting his hair above his team.
I still think Fitzgerald could stuff his 'do under his helmet for three hours a week. He wouldn't even have to do it every week. Just do it this week.
As remote as the possibility is, I'd hate to see him catch that final pass, bolt up the sideline and be yanked down just short of victory.
We'd all be pulling our hair out.
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dwhitley@orlandosentinel.com.
