The advantages of intervening frequently don't outweigh those of simple watchful waiting. Children don't mature at the same pace, and time is sometimes all it takes to level the playing field. Some infants walk when they're 10 months; others don't take their first steps until they're close to 1 1/2 years. Some toddlers articulate in full sentences at 2 but many don't string together a thought of more than two or three words for at least another year.
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When it comes to kids, embrace the average
THE M.D.
A 'normal' child used to be, well, normal. But now a lot of parents, sadly, don't think that's good enough.
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Different speeds
The same goes for more sophisticated behavioral and academic traits. For some children, sharing is a breeze at 15 to 18 months; others can't get their minds around the concept until 5 or 6. It's not unusual for a child to begin reading in preschool at age 4; many struggle with the skill until the second or even third grade and still go on to be perfectly proficient readers.
Although we opted out of immediately enrolling Clay in speech therapy, it wasn't an easy decision. There was pressure from educators to attend to what they perceived as a problem and, as parents, we were vulnerable to their input. (After all, they were the experts.) There was also the discomforting thought that by forgoing therapy we were missing an opportunity to help our son. Sometimes it feels better to do something over doing nothing.
That's not to say some kids don't need help, because in fact many do. But treating every child is not the answer. Embracing "average" may be.
To be honest, the idea of average took getting used to. But what we eventually realized is that that was our problem, not Clay's. It wasn't therapy Clay needed but a change in perspective on his parents' and teachers' part.
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Ulene is a board-certified specialist in preventive medicine practicing in Los Angeles. The M.D. appears once a month. themd@att.net
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A common-sense approach for kids
Whether it's social skills, intelligence or athleticism that's under consideration, children run the gamut. In many situations, determining the cut-off points for "normal" can be exceedingly difficult. But there are general rules that can help.
Most kids hover right around average, regardless of the characteristic. A few children are either well above or well below average. IQ serves as a good example. Most people score near average, or 100; a small number have IQs that exceed 130 or are below 70.
