What is it about Sarah Palin?

"Her taking the celebrity route would disappoint me," Kim said. "If that happens, I'll still like her, but I'll probably write her off. My pipe dream, honestly, is that she'll start a third party. There's a large group of people like me looking for something politically to attach themselves to. I think because of her drive and her spunk and the purity of her message -- and the way it says you don't need to have the highest education to have your values respected -- she could be a real catalyst for something very new and different in politics."

Let me guess, now you're going insane. If you love Palin, you're vexed by the idea that a nice Christian woman like Kim would hang around with a strident, secularist crab like me. If you hate Palin, you're flabbergasted that I could be friends with such a "wingnut." As a result, you're angry at me as well as her. Doesn't that feel good?

I'm speculating, but it isn't a reach. When I wrote about Kim last fall, in addition to the predictable partisan rants and the gasps of "how could you possibly be friends?", a few readers accused me of something especially troubling: They thought I was condescending to Kim and her husband -- that I owed them an apology.

I forwarded one such e-mail to Kim, and her response showed an uncanny -- and unapologetic -- self-awareness: "This letter writer thinks that 'outing' me as someone with my belief system is inherently condescending," she said. "He thinks we can't possibly be friends unless you pity me as some kind of bumpkin. He owes us both an apology."

So here's why Palin inspires such extremes of adoration and acrimony; why she makes us so totally nuts. Palin doesn't just line people up on different sides of an issue; she turns them against each other. It's not enough to hate her; you also have to hate those who don't. Or, if you like her, the attacks on her make it difficult to imagine having any use at all for her enemies. Palin somehow makes the culture wars personal; she's their ultimate symbol. And war is hell, no matter what form it takes.

On the other hand, friendship -- especially across a divide -- is priceless. Maybe Palin's exit from public life will allow a few more to flourish.